Thursday, December 29, 2005

Disaster of huge proportions

On my way home, I go into Londis, our local corner shop which is run by a Hindi family. I've been going there for nearly 3 years. As I'm paying, the man behind the counter says
"How's your boyfriend?"
"No boyfriend" I say (fool, idiot!). "Poor me, hey?"
"I don't have a girlfriend.I'm looking for a girlfriend. Think about me, hey?"
I laugh, like he's making a joke, but oh no.
"What do you think about me?"
"Um, you're very cute?" I venture.
"I've been thinking about you for 6 months." he says. "Seriously, think about it.".

Holy flying fuck, I can never go into Londis again, the mortal embarrassment will kill me.
Where can I do my grocery shopping now?

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Check this out. This little figure features in the Catalan nativity scenes. There's Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, the donkey, the angels, all present and correct... but who is this? And what is he doing? He's pulling his pants down and... no, surely not... yes, he really is. He is called the Caganer, and I bet you can guess the translation.














And here below we have a traditional Catalan delicacy for kids, which is brought out around Christmas time, called Tio Caga. (Uncle Shit).

"A magic log which is beaten with sticks while singing 'Tio, Tio, caga torro, d'avellana i de pinyo, per les festes Nadal, caga si us plau!' which translates crudely to
'Uncle, Uncle, shit out hazelnut and pinenut nougat for Christmas, if you please.' "














I swear I'm not making this up, I'm quoting from Barcelona Metropolitan magazine.
All this tells you something about the Catalans. I'm not sure what it tells you, except maybe that they're twisted.


Thursday, December 22, 2005

Adios amigos

Okay, I'm off shortly. Going where there ain't no broadband. Just wanted to say Happy Holidays to you all. And if you feel like it, leave me your New Year's Resolutions in the comments box to come back to...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Waiting for the man

It's day 2 of enforced house arrest. (Flatmate L, who is fierce on the phone for a living, managed to get them to come back today.)

I've cleaned everything. I've wrapped all the presents. No new books to read. Daytime tv... The time slot is 1.00 - 6.00 pm.

There is a nearly-full bottle of wine in the kitchen. It is calling me. Tell me this, is 1.00 pm too early to start drinking?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

A short poem *

Waiting in vain.
Waiting for you.
Counting the minutes.
Why must you make me wait?
You promise so much
And deliver so little
You make me wander from room to room
Sighing
Longing
Wanting

Without you in my life
There is no fire
No heat
No warmth
No hot water
British Gas Man.

*with apologies to Bob Marley

Saturday, December 17, 2005

This weekend I have seen -

Bob Dylan's double in Archway tube (as he was on the cover of "Blonde on Blonde", ie in his twenties, so it probably wasn't him, though he's rumoured to live in Crouch End.)

Three teenage girls in Camden Town tube, in front of a poster of Brokeback Mountain, stroking Jake Gyllenhaal's face. Totally understandable.

Emily and Tamor's new joint production - little Oskar - he is cute as a button. Go buy their jewellery and paintings and help support the baby! (Emily's website will be geared up soon, keep an eye on it). Okay, shameless plug over.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Meme numero 2

Via the glorious Pixeldiva

Try it, go on.

(2 for the price of 1! - see comments box)

Welcome to the 2005 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are supposed to do is copy this entire blog entry and paste it onto a new blog entry that you'll post. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then publish! Leave a comment if you do this.The theory is that you will learn a lot of little (random) things about your friends, if you did not know them already.

What time did you get up this morning?
6.00 am. Yes, I wince like that when the alarm goes off.

Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds. I hear they're a girl's best friend.

What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Serenity. Thrills and spills aplenty.

What is your favourite TV show?
Weeds, at the moment, about a widow who turns to dealing when she's left to support her family. Very sharp funny writing, and a cool heroine.

What do you usually have for breakfast?
Coffee from the fantastically handy stall which has recently opened outside Bethnal Green tube. Sometimes they give you free biscuits too.

Favourite cuisine?
Italian or Thai, Thai or Italian? Don't make me choose...

What food do you dislike?
Spam. It is just plain wrong.

What is your favourite CD at the moment?
M.I.A, Arular, hated it the first time but it has grown on me.

Morning or night person?
Night. No, it's a lie, in fact, there's only a short period in the day when I'm properly awake - probably between 11.00 am and 12.00 pm. The rest of the time is a struggle to remain conscious.

Favourite sandwich?
The breakfast baguette in Pret a Manger is pretty good.

What characteristic do you despise?
Mean-ness (in the sense of opposite to generosity).

Favourite item of clothing?
Jeans. Or maybe pyjamas.

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?
Oof, I just get to choose one? India, probably.

What colour is your bathroom?
A dark and depressing shade of blue.

Favourite brand of clothing?
Marc Jacobs. I can dream.

Where would you retire to?
London kills me, but I think after a time I would go stir crazy anywhere else.

What was your most memorable birthday?
My 30th, I guess. Just went drinking in Spain and had a pleasant time, stopped smoking the next day with magical ease. (started again a year later, but nevertheless). Or maybe my 6th, when I got to kiss Steven Trautner during Postman's Knock.

Favourite sport to watch?
You're kidding... alright then, tennis.

Who do you least expect to complete this?
Any of my friends. They don't read here (*sob*).

Person you expect to complete it first?
No idea.

Person who is least busy?
Nobody is not busy. It's the 21st century, goddamit.

When is your birthday?
21st July.

What is your shoe size?
6

Pets?
Only if you count the spider who likes to hang out in our bathroom.

Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?
I'm about to learn how to ride a bike! I've just seen this company! (This may not be as exciting to you as it is to me).

What did you want to be when you were little?
Many things. A mermaid. A Charlie's Angel. A flamenco dancer. An actor. A film-maker, a photographer, a masseuse, a painter, a cartoonist... Ah, what happened to all those dreams hey?

What is your favourite flower?
Anemones.

What date on the calendar are you looking forward to?
23rd of December.

One word to describe the person who you snaffled this from?
Inspiring.

Random

Semiotics of birthday cards.

Trying to find a good birthday card for my dad. According to birthday cards, men like boats, (they really really like boats a lot, quite a worrying amount, if you believe the number of cards with boats on them) ties, shaving, beer, sheds and lawnmowers. Men, is this true?

Lateral thinking

Flatmate L told me of a cunning way friends are getting around the illegality of graffitti-ing - they are cleaning away dirt from buildings in order to make their designs. Perfectly legal and the law can't touch them, heh heh. Clever hey?

To the person in Mexico who turned up here looking for '"French producers" of panties'

- I'm so sorry.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Picture Post

Let me walk you through my Saturday...

Rae (lovely friend from Barcelona)
and me, not at all hungover. Oh no.
The garden designer's nightmare

The local Christmas fayre. Guess how many sweeties are on Hansel and Gretel's house to win it. They move us on - apparently standing there counting them is "cheating".

A pretty tree on the canal.

Why do the ducks flea me?
Rae de la Gamba in the cafe.

In Broadway Market. I need these shoes.Hackney sparkles.
(Click on picture for full sparkly effect.)

Friday, December 09, 2005

On being shy

Was just reading Green Fairy's post on making small talk, and she brought up the question of being shy. (If you haven't seen Green Fairy yet, take a look now, she's great, though this post did rile me.)

I'm guessing most people who write blogs are somewhat shy (otherwise we'd be out talking to people more, right?) and would even say most of the people on my link list are shy. Except for Cream, I bet he's not shy, being a restauranteur and all. Or Rad. He's too sweary to be shy.

But correct me if I'm wrong, dear reader. Are you?

The thing is with shyness, as I get older, is that it almost seems to be synonymous with laziness. Shy people can be wrapped up in themselves, just thinking about the effect they are making and not on the other person. If you can't hold a conversation past the age of 15, get over yourself, I think, make the effort...

This just in

And the winner of the Great Postcard Race is... *drumroll*
Dcver from Portugal! Just pipped L'Oiseau of France to the post! (A late entry, will read it to them on Monday).

And where, one asks oneself, is Universal Soldier's (of UK) letter, as he sent his first? Clearly our postal system is crumbling, just like the rest of our once great Empire...

Dcver, when I showed them your envelope, one 5 year old cynic remarked "She sent it herself..." But now at least they know where Portugal is. And they were well-impressed with the castle!

Getting proper post through the mail is great, it's a revelation. Resolve to start sending more letters.

More posts about post on Monday.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Monday, December 05, 2005

Buy this

This is me at the moment, in serious need of the gym. Actually it's not, it's Maggie from Love and Rockets, but shows exactly why you have to love this comic. (Just went through that rite- of- passage moment when your folks say to you, you know those boxes we've been holding onto, for years, can you come and get them? We need the space back. The upside was getting re-acquainted with books from way back.)

Written by los bros Hernandez, two Mexican American brothers, they somehow manage to write about women like they are total foxes and sex kittens, yet in a way that lets you know that they also admire and understand them. Gilberto wrote about this fictional village, Palomar, which is very Gabriel García Márquez, and he's very dark.

Jaime's was science-fictiony (hence the Rockets) and parodied super-hero comics, until he got more interested in his characters' relationships. His artwork is just beautiful, I'd like to post it for you here every day and nothing else, (but that would be cheating.)


They wound it up in the nineties, and we were all heart-broken. These comics and books were passed around and we talked about the characters like they were people we knew.

So when I uncovered this in the box,
I had a look to see what they were up to - and found out they started writing them again in 2000.

Meaning there's a 5 year backlog to catch up with!

Christmas has come early in Slaminsky Mansions.

Some people like Christmas


This photo does not do justice to the pure, over-the-top kitsch of their Christmas lights