Coming in from the cold

Don't you just love Christmas? Such a great time of year. You get to spend an unusually long amount of time with your family, (always relaxing and pleasurable), or else some quality time alone, become filled with the peace, calm, and spirituality of the season, and can look back with satisfaction at what a fantastic year you've just had.

Just kidding!

I thought I'd get a quick one in just in time for Christmas, for all those who love it just as much as me (ie, not very much at all.)

It's called Coming In From The Cold - I'm trying to think of tunes that helped pick me up when I was blue, the songs that saved your life as Morrissey put it, so it's not all gloooom...


By the way, this is my list for Santa:

• Self-adhesive magnetic tape for making Meg Pickard's Moognets.
• Photoshop.
• HDR software
• A chainsaw. (Don't ask. Actually, if anybody has a chainsaw, could I borrow it? I don't really need one permanently. )

*Sigh* This reminds me of the first time Rae read my blog.
'I never realised before - you're a girl geek!'

And you? What's on your list?


podcasts
down with Christmas

Flagging...

Slaminsky is closed for refurbishment until 2007 (and may even return with new premises and a new name) we wish all our valued customers a happy holiday...

In the meantime, please enjoy some light elevator music.

podcasts

Advent calender

I found Taiga the Fox's blog and her magnificent advent calender via Patroclus. Especially loving the madness that lurks behind door number five.

Bah! Wish I'd thought of it. Too late now.

advent calender

Watch this?

There's something very annoying about Alan Yentob but Imagine today is all about the internet and features bloggers, might be interesting... or very annoying...

tv

Have you been good?

Well it's kind of early, but Woolworths doesn't seem to care, so...here are some virtual Christmas pressies for my linkees, because it's the season of goodwill, (and it's very easy to be generous when the presents are virtual.) Just call me Santa...

for Matt, a hat to proclaim his love of toast



for the Curve, a book about his favourite young soul rebels -but maybe he already has it? (and for Em a Roberts Radio for listening to Radio 4 in style)

And for bad Sarah a handy survival guide from our hero, Ray Mears

for Betty, some punk rock so she can watch the Slits in action once more

for Great She Elephant, some black & silver tango shoes to encourage her to go out dancing

for Alda, a cashmere beanie to keep her ears warm if Iceland gets too icy

for Cream, a gold skyscraper cocktail set, for when he's entertaining

for Rad, a cuddly R2D2 (though no doubt he already has it)

for Helga, our German girl about town, Lili Marlene - the collected works of Marlene Dietrich.

for pop fan Del, some Ronettes and Crystals singing Christmas tunes, even if he's not into carols he's got to like that cover

for Quink, now that he has a little Quinklet, he can continue his perambulations with this Time Out Guide - London for Children

what else for Señor T but a nice bottle of Rioja?

for Anxious, some kitchenware for her cookies and carrot cakes or maybe a retro apron for when she's feeling domestic

for Greavsie this classy car to drive Barberella around in style (because he wrote a nice post about his 'dad' car)

for QE, any one of these gaming t-shirts (I do not understand any of these references)

and a gravity-defying robot for hard-to-buy-for Sevitz

for young Heather a book with lots of pictures of her favourite man

for Realdoc a day in the spa, being a mum and a doctor I reckon she needs a day off

for Tim a nice bottle of brandy and glasses to sip it from when he needs a break from writing

for Pashmina, a handbag (what else?) Now one woman's dream bag might be another woman's fashion no-no but this Mulberry bag is fairly classic

for DcVer who has gone all green-fingered, this banana tree for his balcony

for Patroclus, this spiralight - I've no idea why, just thought it looked like fun

and for Billy an air zooka "air zooka your friends with high velocity air balls!" I could have thought of lots more intellectual presents for you but this looked like fun too.

for Guyana Gyal a hammock to swing on in the garden while she's thinking up stories

for art-loving Adrian, a membership to the Tate, where he can drink in the bar with a lovely view whilst appreciating some art

for Wyndham, a TiVo box to forward through all those pesky ads

for Dan, a case to carry his lovely camera in

for Viking, my fellow coffee fiend, this Gaggia to make coffee in his new place in Seattle

for Destructor a Pelikan pen to inspire him to write his next novel

for Rockmother, a pair of vintage platforms, so she can live up to her RoMo image, and see over people's heads at gigs.

for Natalie, some Mod Cat's Eye sunglasses for keeping the sun off next time she goes to a festival

for Gordon this 'charming' porcelain chihuahua night-light - sorry Gordon, I have no idea of your taste, I think it is the most hideous thing I've ever seen but it will be surely be a talking point in your gracious home.

for Shyha, one of these Lomo fisheye cameras (if I can borrow it sometime)

for Broke in Berlin, a baby Fiat - I'll get one too, we'll both learn to drive and we can tootle around Berlin having mini-car-races in them.

Wow, shopping online eh? This is much more fun when money is no object, and you don't have to go down Oxford Street.

If I left you out, drop me a line in the comments and I'll find one for you.

Christmas
presents

Black dog

Are bloggers more prone to depression than other people? (or are depressed people more prone to blogging?) Discuss.

(Still a couple to guess on the pop quiz. Win a fabulous HD wide-screen television! Or possibly a signed postcard from my personal postcard collection.)

Sunday night pop quiz

Come on now... only 7 and 8 to go...

In the meantime, have a listen to number 10, Prince's Girls and Boys

Stealing an idea off the lovely Realdoc, who is much more cultured and does first and last lines of books - these are lyrics from pop tunes - but which?

No Googling, or there'll be trouble.


1. Tell us a story, I know you're not boring
The Strokes, Reptilia - Anxious, Betty

2. Alimony, alimony paying your bills
When your conscience hits, you knock it back with pills
Led Zeppelin, Living Loving Maid - Señor T

3. You hear some fuss, you're like 'what's the clamour?'
It's just me naked on the cover of Glamour
Beastie Boys , Brouhaha - Gordon

4. Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk
Heart Attack and Vine - Tom Waits - Gordon

5. England my country the home of the free, such miserable weather
The Sundays - Can't Be Sure Corin, (1/2 point) Betty

6. Ain't he cute? No he ain't
He's just another burden on the welfare state
Too Much Too Young, The Specials - The Whales

7. You won't walk for days
I wanna waste some time
You wanna be so mean
Y ou love to watch
Goldfrapp, Ooh La La Greavsie

8. I try my very best to be just like I am
But everybody wants you to be just like them
They say sing while you slave and I just get bored
Bob Dylan, Maggie's Farm. Tsk. Can't believe no one got this. You bunch of philistines.

9. No, I don't want your number
No, I don't want to give you mine
No Scrubs, TLC - Betty, Patroclus, Corin (1/2 point)

10. She had the cutest ass he'd ever seen
He did too, they were meant to be
Girls and Boys, Prince - Emma



song lyrics

Mail order

Valyusha, your eloquent email appeal touched my heart. How I wish I could make you happy. Alas, you're barking up the wrong tree.

Hello, my Friend!

I miss love in my life and I desire to find it!

Hello, gentleman. I am a single girl, nice, attractive, intelligent, active and easy-going, but lonely... I am looking for a responsible man, the one who can show me wisdom, love and attention he has. I love life and I am sure I can make my only man happy. If you want to learn me better, you can find me here.

If you write to me, I will gladly answer all your questions as something inside says to me that something big and beautiful can grow between us...

Looking forward to get a letter from you!

Valyusha

spam

S.A.D.

Winter. Cold. Dark. Wet. Miserable. Let us now hibernate until Spring and the daffs come out - no really, it's okay, tell your bosses I said you could.

Okay, imagine you're going into your cave now - what 3 essentials will you take with you to last out the cold hard winter?













S.A.D.
hibernation

Britney rules, ok

I made a decision not to post about celebs but hey, rules are made to be broken. I was listening to Toxic and thinking about just how much I love Britney.

You heard it here first - Britney is the new Elvis. No, don't laugh - she is a popular heroine who made it from poor white trash background to become the nation's darling, and her success has clearly messed with her mind.

(I once saw a fascinating programme on the King's diet - when he became rich and successful beyond his wildest dreams of avarice, his idea of luxury was to get on his private jet and fly, not to some high-class Manhattan restaurant, but to the nearest fast food joint and buy every king-size burger in the place. Because when he was growing up and living on deep-fried squirrels and grits (whatever they may be), a hamburger seemed like the heighth of decadence. In a similar spirit, Britney and the despicable K-Fed's wedding featured little mini hamburgers and fries. And they wore matching pink velour Juicy Couture tracksuits too. Probably.)

Oh Britney, why do I love you? In videos, she is perfection, a beautiful, sexy airbrushed teen queen.
In the tabloids, she is a mess, and there is something admirable in her refusal to live the dream 24-7. She remains true to her roots, and it is endearing. Though you do worry about her questionable taste in men. Still, all she has to do is bat those big, long-lashed, cow-like brown eyes at you, and all is forgiven.

Heresy

So... Wordpress... what are our thoughts?

Wordpress

I sense a vast, crushing tidal wave of indifference

out there to these podcasts, but you know what? I don't care, they are fun to make.

This one is all about the hiphop - which I loved from the Sugarhill Gang's Rapper's Delight onwards - 'I got more clothes than Muhammed Ali, and I dress so viciously', lost track of when it seemed to appeal only to teenage boys, what with Public Enemy's Uzis and combat gear and humour-free shouting from Chuck D, picked up again with the wit and daring of De La Soul, and though I don't really know what's going on with it these days, just occasionally someone will appeal, like Missy Elliot maybe, to remind me the genre is still alive and kicking.

PS: There's a little bit of talking on this one.

track listing

Boomin' Back Atcha - Phoebe 1 and Freq Nasty
Sci-fi hip-hop! Phoebe 1 is great, and it gives me a warm glow when I hear a woman rapping just as well as the men.

How Hard Is It? The Fugees - I think I've written before about how their first record was phenomenal, but for some reason it was the weak second album that went on to succeed.
This name-checks John Coltrane, and deservedly so.

Humpty Dance - Digital Underground
Digital Underground were hilarious, and this one has a monster bass-line. Humpty Hump speaks up for big-nosed ugly guys everywhere "People say Humpty, you're really funny-looking..." and also for the joys of "getting busy in a Burger King bathroom."

Fallin' - De La Soul & Teenage Fanclub
This came from a film soundtrack. Apparently Judgement Night was a rubbish film but someone had the good idea of uniting hiphop and indie bands of the day. This is unusually wry and self-deprecating from the hiphop fraternity.

Can't Do Nuttin' For Ya Man - Public Enemy
Despite his image as a fool, Flavor Flav is a classically trained pianist and multi-instrumentalist, and this is undeniably great. I love the way he insults his hapless friend at the end "You're on welfare. You got a rip in your couch. Your mamma's got no nipples..."

Fugees - Vocab
Featuring a fabulous acoustic guitar loop which will put you in a trance

George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People - The Legendary K.O.
Remix of Kanye West's Gold Digger, this has got to be the best political tune ever made. So articulate and angry.

Cock the Hammer - Cypress Hill
Don't usually have much time for gangsta rap but Cypress Hill really knew how to build an atmosphere of paranoia. (I think this samples Black Sabbath.) Also like the way they updated the old call-and-response of the blues.

Stand Together - Beastie Boys
A return to sweetness and light with the Beasties. There really should be more chicken impressions on hip-hop tracks.

Get Ur Freak On - Missy Elliot
It sounds like she says "Venga!" at the beginning, which is (kind of) the Spanish for 'Come on!' Can anyone confirm? First heard at a friend's wedding. The band had just finished and jumped off the stage to dance with us on the dance-floor. It is irresistible.

hiphop

podcast

Invitation

There is a festive London blogmeet planned for 9th December in Covent Garden - I'll be going, Sevitz is going. Come on fellow London people, (or visiting non-London people) - we are not scary, we are friendly, have no fear.

A good chance to get together hey? Spread the word...


blogmeet
London

Avarice

You know every time you have an trifling, idle question, like, say, 'what is Kevin Rowlands really singing on Geno?' In the past your idle question would go unanswered, so it gives me a little buzz every time I remember that Google exists and I can find out.

So there I was idly surfing, when I remembered I'd once read that Kate Bush's Cloudbusting was based on a children's book, and I'd always wondered which one, and if I could track it down & read it.

A little light research and it turns out that it was based on A Book of Dreams, Peter Reich's memoirs of his father Wilhelm - yes he of the Orgone Energy, something our Helga knows all about. The song was about harnessing the power of orgasms to make it rain - who'd have known?

I would quite like to read this , it sounds fascinating growing up with such a dad - but when I went to find out if it was still available, turns out it's out of print and now goes for a cool 80 dollars, just in paperback, at least...

Now I know I can't have it, I REALLY want to read it.



Kate Bush
Cloudbusting
Wilhelm Reich
Orgone Energy
Books

Soulseek

Fireworks 021
Originally uploaded by Slaminsky.

That's all I'm saying, and it's all you need.

However did I live without it?

Thanks, Señor Curve.

soulseek

Gym

I've been going to the gym recently, the other day I got chatted up there. First he corrected my usage of a weights machine 'You're doing that with such charisma - but don't arch your back...'
I thought he was a gym instructor but no, he was just a random other gym user.

Then 'You have a very healing energy. Are you a nurse?'
He looked disappointed when I said I was a teacher, but then I was disappointed that he didn't follow up by asking if I liked pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, it was such a cheesy line.

Though he was very fit (doing all that professional boxer-type skipping and lifting his whole body weight on the machines - easy to impress us gals hey ) - would you ever go for a man who wears his shades in the gym?

Plus I'm not sure about flirting in the gym. Though I quite enjoy checking people out, I myself would prefer to have a cloak of invisibility whilst working out, they may be attractive but with red face, mad hair & all out of breath from the running machine, I really really am not.

gym
chatup lines

Haircut

Yes it's time for number 3, the Slaminsky Eighties Haircut Mix Tape.

It is a era that gets some flak, especially for its style - it was the decade that loved the synthesizer, it brought us Timmy Mallet and the Birdy Song, but there were some diamonds buried away in there.

On here is a random mixture, which is in no way chronological. It starts off poppy and then went a bit alternative and melancholy. I got carried away and could have made it very very long as I kept remembering bands who could come under the eighties banner, and that was leaving out the big hitters like the Smiths and the Pixies (The Throwing Muses! Dinosaur Jr!) but thought, let's keep it short and sweet.

Enjoy.

eighties
podcast

Maleducado

Having ongoing problems at work which I can't really be specific about (why did I not choose to have a sensible anonymous blog? Idiot. Having drifted into this job as part of a very vague masterplan, I find it stirring up all kinds of very strong feelings and opinions I didn't know I had.)

Anyway, it started me thinking about school, and education and all, and what I'd like to ask you is this...

Did you like school?
What do you remember most about it?
Did it prepare you for life after school?
Do you wish it could have been different?
How do you learn best?

Any thoughts you have about education in general would be most welcome...


school days
education

Turned on

No reason to post this except that I think people have missed it in the Barcelona photoset and it surely deserves a wider audience. We saw it in Vinçon, the furniture emporium, and it was the first time I've ever seen our Em shocked.





















Vinçon

Lamps

Happy Halloween!

Image from 'It's the Great Pumpkin Head Charlie Brown!' by the late great Charles M Schulz

Newsflash

Making a concerted effort to be more outward-looking and aware of the news in this blog. It is shamefully introspective and lacking in current events. So.

This is a story to raise the spirits.

Gina Lollobrigida (79) to wed her 45 year old lover. "First came passion, love followed
afterwards."Go, La Lollo!

Gina contemplates taking a husband - but whose?










Meanwhile, in the Evening Standard magazine, Kimberley 'daughter of Rod' Stewart claims to enjoy a drink in the Dolphin in Mare Street, Hackney. Truly bizarre.

(Though it's true, when Lindsay Lohan's not in LA she can be found propping up the bar in the Catford Wetherspoons, while Jade Jagger often shuns the Ibizan nightclubs for a nice pint of bitter in a Peckham local.)

Kimberley dresses down for an evening in the Dolphin









(Here is some proper news about Amnesty and bloggers fighting web censorship in China and other places). Hurrah for the Open Net Iniative and the Freenet Project!
news
censorship

Late starter

When I was little, I used to visit my dad at weekends. He bought me a beautiful purple bike. He lived on a steep hill and I couldn't get the hang of cycling without stabilisers. By the time he got around to bringing it over to our house, I was too big for it - or it was too small for me. (Soundtrack for this story is violins, can't you hear them?) When about 13, I borrowed my mum's bike and fell off it many times in the park before giving it up in a strop.

As for driving, it's a stupid story... when I was around 7, we went on holiday in the Isle of Wight, where we went to the Robin Hill Adventure Park. I queued for five hours to get on the rope slide. Finally getting a turn, I was flying happily through the air when a toddler broke loose from the crowd and ran in front of me.

I tried to swing myself up out of the way but with inevitable synchronicity she was in front of me at exactly the wrong moment, and I kicked her squarely in the forehead. She burst into tears. I burst into tears. I think I was crying more than she was. Being a superstitious Jew, I took it as a sign that I should never get behind the wheel of a car, because I've never forgotten that moment of impact.

But really, what nonsense. You can't spend the rest of your life at bus stops because of something that happened so many years ago, that would be too Flatliners for words.

So this weekend I went for a cycling lesson, with Patrick from London Cycle Training. Patrick is clearly evangelical about cycling and gives me a short disquisition on the physics, the engineering, and the sheer poetry of bikes before we go to London Fields to practice. He is very patient, though I'm a bit flustered and he must feel like he's dealing with a simpleton, eg:

P: 'Turn left out of the gate... Actually Annie, left is in the other direction.'

P: 'How long will it take if you let it go for the bike to hit the ground?'
Me: 'About 5 seconds.'
P: (slight pause) 'Well, more like 2 seconds.'

P: How will you stop the bike?
Me: With my feet.
P: With the brakes.

But all goes pretty well. I can't explain how weird it is to think of yourself most of your life as someone who can't do a particular thing - I've been a pedestrian forever - and then you can.

Hah! Next, watch motorists and innocent bystanders cower in fear as I attempt a driving lesson...





















cycling Flatliners superstition

I'm back!

I already miss Em and the Curve

Check out the flickr photo set

A short hiatus

Half term, there is no sweeter phrase in the language. Well, mes petits choux-fleurs, I am shortly going to Barcelona to visit lovely Em & the lovely Curve. Have fun, be good, don’t have any wild parties and don’t open the door to strangers whilst I’m gone. And if you get bored you can always visit my back pages – they’re lonely & neglected you know.

Here you can see postcards kind bloggers sent me from around the world...

And pictures of some good-looking people...

Read the famous iPod drama and all about the battle with Apple..

Listen to a short mix tape and a sexy mix tape...

Learn how I narrowly escaped an attempted assassination on Bow Road...

And about how I was a teenage Trotskyite…

Find out what we were all doing in New York a month after September 11th 2001...

Plus, of course, see photos of my dodgy haircuts of yore, also some of Barcelona, New York, and, um, Hackney...

Hasta pronto, muchachos.

hiatus
archives

The last page

The last page

Tee hee!

(With thanks to Miriam and Ash)


sarcasm

Pants

So, trousers. Yes, I know we (women) are all made differently, but who are they making the trousers for, seeing as no one I know can find a pair that fits? Though clearly somewhere out there is a woman shaped exactly the opposite to me, and she must have no problems with trousers, as every pair I try on seem designed for her. Here's the thing, manufacturers and designers:

Women do not go straight up and down like men.

(Okay, models and pre-adolescent girls maybe - oh, you mean that's who designers are designing for? Women shaped like men and boys? You may have a point.)

For the last few years, I have been on the quest for the holy grail, ie, a pair of trousers that I can get over my hips and yet which does not have enough space around the waist to easily fit another person down. (Which I then have to winch in with a belt, causing uncool and unsightly fabric bulge.)

And another thing! What malevolent fashion god decreed that hipsters were the only waistline permissible? The normal waistline is virtually extinct, since the hostile takeover of the hipsters, much like the gentle native red squirrel has been driven out of England by the aggressive behaviour of the vicious cockney grey squirrel.

If you are a model, or a pre-adolescent girl, hipsters are fine, but for those of us of advancing years, hipsters are unforgiving and unkind. Hipsters shout 'take a look at these love-handles!' And they are not v cool for work, because when you bend down, they show, no other way to describe it, bum cleavage. Not v cool at all when you work in a school especially. ('What's that?' asked one of the kids in my class ingenuously. She was not used to seeing much bare skin.)

So I give a prayer of thanks to Levi's (sorry, it's product placement but I really mean it) because I had gone the entire length of Oxford Street & tried on every pair of jeans in every shop til I got to the Levi's shop. My hope was nearly gone.

'I'm looking for a pair of bootleg jeans* which ARE NOT HIPSTERS' and the lovely Japanese assistant glanced at me, handed me a pair, I tried them on in the changing room, and voila! They fitted like they'd been made for me. I nearly cried. I was not a freak of nature! Can't tell you how happy it makes me to have a pair of trousers which actually fit, after all these years of compromise.

*Bootleg jeans are jeans which are slightly wider at the bottom, in order to accommodate a boot, and nothing to do with moonshine whisky, for those of you who do not follow trouser fashion.

trousers
hipsters
shopping
Levis

Dirrty

Yes, it's time for the Mix Tape 2... This one’s called Dirrrty – because, just like Justin T, at Slaminsky we aim to put the sexy back.*

Trouble Man Marvin Gaye.
Ah, Marvin. Marvin, Marvin, Marvin... *sigh*

Mesmerized Faith Brown
My gorgeous friend G used this in her gorgeous degree show. Picture, if you will, models slinking down the catwalk in some very fine clothes to this. I would have filmed it but my bastard camera battery let me down. Bah.

House of Jealous Lovers - The Rapture
With some crazy cowbell action.

Gett Off
Pure filth from the His Purple Highness. Never before did a flute sound so hot.

Cannonball
I love Kim Deal. Not content with being in one of the best rock n’ roll bands to ever grace a stage, she went on to form the Breeders and write songs like this one, which actually manages to be truly sexy, not embarrassing and cheesy.

Diamond Dogs
In which Beck covers an old Bowie tune and if possible makes it even more louche & decadent.

A Stroke of Genius
A mashup of Xtina, the original Dirrty girl, and the Strokes. Soz, to whoever this belongs to, I can’t remember where I got it. G very sweetly and innocently thought the lyrics were 'I'm a genie in a bottle, you've got to love me the right way'. Bless her.

If You Want Me To Stay -
The ultimate seduction song from Sly and his Family Stone, and coincidentally my favourite song ever.

What's your favourite sexy tune then?

*Incidentally, anyone who uses Switchpod can tell me why it names it after a random song, and not the name of the mp3 you uploaded?

podcast

Self image meme

Stolen from Betty








How my folks see me







How my sister sees me










How my friends see me







How the kids see me











How I wish people saw me











How they probably see me

self-image
meme

Antique

They are pulling down the pram sheds in our flats, and chucking out a hundred years' worth of junk. I saw this outside and had to bring it in. It weighs a ton.

L was not happy, pointing out, no doubt quite fairly, that probably 'rats had pissed on it.' But I couldn't leave it to rust away in the rain. I don't know what to do with it, maybe will just take some pictures of it and then abandon it heartlessly on the streets again.















remington
typewriter

Mix tape

All the cool kids are doing it, so I want a go. But it's not so much a podcast as a, um, mix tape. Very low-fi, very dubious quality, such as you made to try and charm your love interest when you were fifteen. Consider yourself my love interest, dear reader.

I am not talking on this. I do not have a microphone, I don't know how, and I hate my voice, which when broadcast sounds like Eliza Doolittle trying to imitate the Duchess of Devonshire.

It is not what I planned, as it's limited to tunes that are non-DRM, (again, thanks Matt.) It will get better, this was just a practice run but it took a while & I couldn't bear to bin it.

Without rhyme or reason, I give to you, the Slaminsky Mix Tape.

Love in a Trashcan The Raveonettes - Glamorous, 60s style but modern garage band, from DENMARK (thanks Rad.)

The Night Of Kittin's Messy Dream
Miss Kittin vs PJ Harvey Thom Yorke vs Corey Hart vs Human League
Yes, it's a mashup, via the very talented DJ Earworm.

A Minha Menina Beck
I believe this is a cover of Os Mutantes, the mentalist 60s psychedelic Brazilians. Portugeuse translations are very welcome.

Heartbeats The Knife
The Knife are great, though I wouldn't want to meet them down a dark alley. To me, this song treads a fine line between romantic and psychopathic, which is interesting.

Bossy remix Kelis
If I were a man, or gay, I would be in love with Kelis, she's a total fox. I like the way she keeps innovating with every new album. Go, Kelis!

Gentlemen Who Fell - Mila Jovovich
Another fox, the beautiful Mila can also sing. Tsk.

Buenas noches, listeners.


podcasts

No news is good news

What newspaper do you read? It's becoming a real problem.

Though must admit, I'm not a proper reader, skipping the bad news, which is most of it. (I have some sympathy for that newsreader who said a few years back that people didn't want to hear only bad news all the time, and couldn't we have some good news? Surely there must be some good stuff going on in the world... He got laughed out of town, as I recall.)

We grew up reading the super soaraway Sun and the News of the World. It was only really when I left home for college that I saw newspapers without knockers in them.

In Barcelona I was homesick for the Evening Standard, especially the Friday supplement (which was not the execrable, wannabe-Tatler rag it is these days, but more like Time Out in the form of a daily paper.)

The foreign editions of the British papers were really expensive - the Guardian in particular, consisting of about 3 pages of extreme boredom for 5 euros, so I ended up buying the Telegraph which was better value. It also made me feel nostalgic for an England that I didn't really recognise; "this week, we show you how to get the best display out of your delphiniums."

Now I'm stuck. The Guardian is still boring. The Independent is badly designed, and boring. The Mail, beyond the pale. The Times...? Please recommend me something, so I am not reduced to the Metro.

newspapers

Ahem.

(You might observe that the header is less dark than usual.)

Thanks, Matt.







Pink for October

A million little pieces

So I'm sitting at the bus-stop on Bow Road, getting increasingly soaked and debating whether to make my way to the gym through the monsoon-like rain. There's three other people sitting on the bench with me. Suddenly we hear a massive bang right behind us, and I'm thanking my lucky stars that my native Londoner's stoicism ('What's-that-loud-bang-oh-probably-just-another-bomb then') means that I don't turn my head, because then we hear an even more massive cracking sound and the entire, glass bus shelter explodes. Explodes onto us. By itself.

I just got home, and as we speak I am picking shards of glass (or to be more accurate, because it was safety glass, crumbs of glass) out of my hair, legs, hands, and (most uncomfortable this) pants. Me and my fellow bus people were all standing round laughing immediately after and going "Wha-... bu-... " until the bus arrived.

I had the following conversation with the bus driver which you might find reassuring in these troubled times:

Me: That bus stop just exploded. We are covered in glass from it.
Driver: There's a number for TFL (Transport for London) on the bus stop. That's TFL, innit.
Me: Can't you let the depot know? It's a bit dangerous.
Driver: Yeh... I don't know TFL's number... I'll call when I get back.

Right.

Anyway, please excuse me while I go and have a cup of hot sweet tea.




Bus stops

Accidents

Design me a logo competition

Things are getting predictable around here, and for that I apologise. Nobody hardly visits me no more but people in search of the foghorn-voiced, surgically-enhanced, canon-straddling ex-wife of Sonny. Now this blog is an old lady of 12 months, it's probably time to step it up a bit - but work is hellish at the moment so I've no time to do anything - here is where you come in, reader - you, yes you, sitting at your computer looking at this here screen, I wish you to design me a logo.

That is what is missing around here. Everyone else has one, now I want one. ( those little symbols which I believe may be called avatars or favicons, they're probably unsupported by Blogger but you never know.)

You can:
Leave a suitable suggestion in the comments
Send me in your designs by email or
if you are really brave or an artist of some sort, you can send me a hard copy by post, and I will faithfully scan it here.

In return, you will receive my eternal gratitude and a stupendous prize, which I have not thought of yet.

Rock n'roll

Oh, how I want to. But I am old and past it. But free gigs! And free CDs! I put it to you, hip young gunslingers of London, that this would be right up your alley.

music reviews

londonist

Read between the lines

Anybody remember Home and Away? How there was always some scamp, some young runaway breezing into town, on the lam from somewhere, a broken family home maybe or from a juvenile facility for pilfering sweeties or something. And they'd be all broke and homeless, telling their woes to Ailsa in the cafe*, and she'd utter the immortal line, 'Why don't you come and work here love?'

Bam! They'd have a shift or three in the cafe to tide them over until their real career turned up.

All my life I've waited for those 3 little words, 'Work for me'. As Wyndham has so eloquently described, job interviews are hell, just the idea of the whole hideous process of finding a new job makes me weary to my very marrow. Anybody want me to come and work for them, love?

* Played by Judy Nunn. In 2004, Judy made a surprising leap into the music business with a string of dance hits sampling her Home and Away dialogue, including the 2005 Sex Over The Phone, which charted in Estonia but was withdrawn in the UK following allegations of chart fixing. - Wikipedia.

work
Home and Away

Model year

This was written a year ago, so is a bit out of date...

M is my new friend. She's a nurse, from Mauritius, an exotic mix of every nationality you can think of. She's the slimmest girl you've ever seen, looks like a gazelle. We went out for her birthday, and what do you think her halfwit boyfriend gave her as a birthday present (bearing in mind she is so slim, you wonder that her legs don't snap in two when she walks around on them)? Was it:

a) jewellery?
b) perfume?
c) an exercise bike?

Yes, you've guessed it. He got her an exercise bike. The mollusc.

M's extreme slimness reminds me of my year of models. For some reason, they kept popping up in my life. It was the year I moved back to London after university. I was sharing a house with 3 boys and 1 girl, two of the boys were photographer's assistants. Sometimes we used to go out with their friends, all photographers, models, fashionistas and indie band types. They were less Vogue and Versace, more The Face and, um, Fara charity shop, into hanging out in grim pubs in King's Cross or Dalston for kicks.

Even drinking with these people was no fun when sitting next to them made you feel like a heifer. And let me tell you, there's nothing more demoralising than living with cute boys who spend all day taking pictures of Kate Moss (really) then come home to you. Oh sure, they said they didn't fancy the models, but did one of them ever make a pass? They did not.

So that was first incident of the models. Then I went to join a temping bureau, and found myself sitting on a sofa alongside many tall, freakishly thin and beautiful girls, all chatting to each other about New York and Milan. Turned out my temp agency shared their reception with Storm, but I found myself wanting to apologise to the receptionist and assure her that I wasn't delusional or anything.

Then I went to see my flatmate's textile degree show. In her year was a certain famous musician's daughter, who's since gone on to have a stellar (ahem) career in fashion. Whilst the other students got to use normal models, this girl called in some favours & got Naomi and Kate to model her collection. As soon as her stuff had been paraded down the catwalk by the supermodels, the photographers from the newspapers got up and left, pretty gutting for the other students who had sweated for 3 years over their degrees, I'm sure you'll agree. But that's a whole other story.

In an attempt to feel good about our lardy selves, now when we see a model on TV, me & the flatmates always have to hiss "Skinnybitch!" Yet you can't help being fascinated by them. Which is why I'm waiting impatiently for the final of "America's Next Top Model" competition on Living TV. My money's on Yoanna to win.*

*update... Yoanna won!

models

World's longest meme

Apologies for the silence, I have been snowed under and struggling with technical difficulties. (Starting back at school so this is my excuse, I won't be posting for a while.)

This was seen at Billy's, I enjoy answering these things but you may lose the will to live by the end of it.

1. Your first grade teacher: Can’t remember. (Don’t expect the kids to remember me either.)

2. Last word you said: Bye!
3. Last song you sang: Dreams. Having a bit of a Fleetwood Mac moment – the shame…
4. Last person you hugged: My nephew.
5. Last thing you laughed at: Dylan Moran. We saw him do stand-up last night in the Hammersmith Apollo.. I would rather be a bull-fighter and risk being gored to death by an angry bull for a living than ever do stand-up as a job, so hats off to him. (He was v funny.)
6. Last time you said I don’t remember: A highly important discussion about the name of an actor in some film we had seen.
7. Last time you cried: Reading about the 22 year old father stabbed to death in East London.
8. What colour socks are you wearing: black
9. What’s under your bed: drawers filled with secret & arcane objects that I cannot write about here.
10. What time did you wake up today: 5.45 am. It's not natural.
11. Current taste: California Zinfandel. Loving the rose when the sun's out.
12. Current hair: bad hair. As always.
13. Current annoyance: weather. Hot/cold/hot/cold/rain/sun/rain/sun… what’s a girl to wear?
14. Current longing: Nicotine. Still.
15. Current desktop background: Picture of the ducks in Victoria Park
16. Current worry: Anxiety dreams about work. Bah.
17. Current hate: Hatred is bad for your blood pressure.
18. Current favourite article of clothing: A wrap dress, first dress bought in years.
19. Favourite physical feature of the preferred sex: Back of the neck is very appealing. Also shoulders, hands, mouth, eyes, legs, bum… ahem.
20. Last CD that you listened to: Sly and The Family Stone
21. Favourite place to be: In bed
22. Least favourite place: Staffroom at 8.00 am Monday morning
23. Time you wake up in the morning: 5.45. Like clockwork. Except when I get the 3.00 am, 4.00 am and 5.00 am wakey-wakeys, which are a drag.
24. If you could play an instrument, what would you play: For coolness, the guitar or the drums. For the sound, a trumpet.
25. Favourite colour: Red
26. Do you believe in an afterlife: only in the sense that we fertilize the ground and come back as tomatoes.
27. How tall are you: Do you know, I never measured. Something like 5' 6.”
28. Current favourite word/saying: Do you know what I mean?
29. Favourite book: Just one? Okay then – Cherry by Mary Karr
30. Favourite season: Summer
31. One person from your past you wish you could go back to see: any of the grandparents.
32. Where do you want to go for university?: Don’t make me go back again…
33. What is your career going to be like: This is for young folk, isn’t it? My career is pitiful…
34. How many kids do you want: somewhere in the region between 0 and 2

Have you ever...
35. Said “I love you” and meant it (with the opposite sex) Yes. And no.
36. Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish: No
37. Been to New York: Yes yes yes, my kind of town. I liked Brooklyn even better than Manhattan last time...
38. Been to Florida: No
39. Been to the Bahamas: no
40. Been to Mexico: no, but would go and see Frida Kahlo's house first thing if I could.
41. Been to China: No
42. Been to Canada: Yes, age 5. Up the CN Tower, Tallest Building In The World. And got lost at Niagara Falls (everyone wears yellow raincoats and looks the same, I got separated from my party and nearly ended up with a group of Japanese tourists.)
43. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: No, I have very surreal dreams usually which bear no relation to real life. Often to do with submerged cities and tidal waves for some reason. Maybe I'm having prophetic visions of the distant future...?

Random
45. Do you have a crush on someone: Only on Keanu (my default crush when no one real is in the running.)
46. What book are you reading now?: East End Chronicles, a history of East London. I won’t tell you why Houndsditch is called Houndsditch. And Beyond Black, by Hilary Mantel, which is the darkest thing I've read in a long time...
47. Worst feeling in the world: Losing someone you love
48. What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?: It can’t be morning already…
49. How many rings before you answer: I never answer. Voicemail is a fine invention.
50. Future daughter’s name: Bathsheba
51. Future son’s name: Ezekiel
52. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no. I am not 7.
53. If you could have any job you wanted: I would have Wolfgang Tillmans’ job
54. Where do you wish you were: In my own house.
55. Piercings: In the ears.

The extra stuff
57. Do you do drugs: Hardly ever.
58. Do you drink: Oh yes.
59. What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use: Aveda when I’m feeling rich, it really works
60. What are you most scared of: One of the kids in my care getting injured.
61. What clothes do you sleep in: a vest.
62. Who is the last person that you called: my friend Rachael
63. Where do you want to get married: Never. Never getting married. Brrrrr…
64. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be: I would like to swap faces and bodies with Nastassia Kinski
65. Who do you really hate: Chris Moyle. Why is he?
66. Been in love: Hmmmmm…
67. Are you timely or always late: Usually timely
68. Do you have a job: Yes
69. Do you like being around people: No, not really.Always quite liked the idea of working with plants, that don't talk back.
70. Best feeling in the world: Do I have to spell it out?
71. Are you for world peace: No, I’m all for chaos, war and misery. Duh!
72. Are you a health freak: Ha ha ha!
73. Do you have a “Type” of person you always go after: Yes, usually if they’re not interested it works for me…
74. Do you want someone you don’t have?: No one specific
75. Are you lonely right now: No
76. Ever afraid you’ll never get married: Can categorically say no.

In the last 48 hours, have you:
78. Cried: No
79. Bought Something: Coffee. Bread. Shoes. And a raincoat.
80. Gotten Sick: No
81. Sang: Yes (when alone. I would never inflict my voice on other people.)
82. Said I Love You: Nope. (Wow, obsessed or what?)
83. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: No, I’m English, goddammit. Stiff upper lip and all that.
84. Met Someone: flatmate L, colleagues, 30 kids, Rachael, Dylan Moran (from a distance)
85. Moved On: Only in the temporal sense
86. Talked to Someone: Yes, flatmate, colleagues, friends, kids at school ("sit on your bottoms! on your bottoms!" it is quite unbelievable, how many times a day I utter this phrase.)
87. Had A Serious Talk: No.
88. Missed Someone: No, I am a rock, I am an island.
89. Hugged Someone: Yes
90. Yelled at Someone: No. Sometimes I raise my voice at the kids, but try not to yell.
91. Dreamed About Someone You Can’t Be With: Yes, I did, how weird.

Feel free to pick your favourite question & answer it in the comments box. Don't be shy...

meme

Ouch

I had a hangover.

I got in the shower.

I dropped the shower gel.

I bent to pick it up.

I smacked my head against the window sill. Very Hard.

Pain x 2.

Now I have a charming bruise and cut on my forehead, and feel a bit dizzy.
And yesterday I was dancing around getting ready to go out (as you do) when I whacked my funny bone against the doorframe, getting another nice bruise and scratch. Don't know what's the matter with me at the moment, seem to have lost all gross motor skills.


hangovers

Rubbish song lyrics

There are some corkers out there, aren't there? Was listening to Sunny on the iPod yesterday (Boney M, not Dusty Springfield - yes, I know) when it struck me that this is possibly the most clunking metaphor in any song ever written in the history of the world:

"My life was torn like windblown sand
And a rock was formed when you held my hand"

(Though a close contender might be ''We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks'', from Bonnie Tyler's appalling 80s torch song 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'.

Think you've got better rubbish song lyrics? Let's hear it, then.

song lyrics

Pop Quiz (3)

Hey pop fans

next Tuesday is the Big Gay Pop Quiz (thank you Patroclus) at the Retro Bar. It starts at 9.00 pm (way past my bedtime on a schoolnight*) so I suggest we meet in Embankment tube at 8.00 pm in order to get a table, it's a pretty small pub.

Up to 4 a team, £1.00 per person, & does not go on too long. I'll be wearing the red carnation (or alternatively, you can recognise me by this recent photo). Leave me a comment or email me if you're coming so we know to wait for you.
* I apologise in advance if I appear a bit sleepy.

Hasta pronto...

NB: MEET IN EMBANKMENT TUBE - NOT CHARING CROSS TUBE - IT'S NEARER!


pop quiz
blogmeet

Elegantly dressed Wednesday

This here blog is a year old, more or less, which makes it practically geriatric in dog years. Go read my first post where I was wittering away to myself in cyberspace like a saddo, go on.*

Back in the day, I came across sites that did this 'Half Naked Thursday' meme, in which they would post photos of bits of themselves, well, half naked. But the suave and sophisticated Quink has a much better idea, in posting photos of elegantly dressed people in order to raise the tone on the interweb. Don't know if it will be a regular feature here, but here is the most beautiful redhead of them all looking extremely elegant, Rita Hayworth in Gilda, the best film noir ever made.

YouTube of Rita Hayworth singing 'Put the Blame on Mame'

*Interestingly enough it's on dating, which I decided to have a go at, it's only taken a year to come around to the idea. Don't like to rush things, me.

Elegantly Dressed Wednesday

An open letter to Google Mail

Dear Google Mail,

I know you think it's cute to post actual spam recipes in my spam mail folder, but it brings back bad memories. Specifically bad memories of being forced to eat spam in primary school by sadistic dinner ladies (when I was a kid, not in my current place of work).*

This only came to end after the following conversation:

Dinner lady: Eat it all up.
5 years old Annie: I don't like it.
Dinner lady: Don't be silly! Come on, I'm standing here until you finish it.
Annie: It makes me feel sick.
Dinner lady: You're so fussy! Come on, just one mouthful. Come on... I'm putting it on the fork for you... that's it...
Annie: [pukes all over the dinner lady's shoes.]
Dinner lady: !!!


Kindly cease and desist with the spam recipes. Thank you.

* for which reason, I am a libertarian these days when it comes to kids' diets. If they wanna survive on chocolate buttons, let 'em.

Incidentally, my mum's kitchen cupboard was the stuff of legend amongst my friends, being packed with every type of chocolate bar and crisp known to man, whereas they were only allowed to snack on nuts and raisins and sunflower seeds, but I found my own way when I was older and my diet's pretty healthy. So there.

spam

Teachers hate September too

Aargh - you think they'd show a little sensitivity to us, with all these 'back to school!' advertising campaigns. Even eBay are tormenting me with totally uncalled-for emails:

eBay

slaminsky, get set for school

Wed 30 Aug 2006

18k

Today is our first day back and I feel wretched. Anyway, here are two important links, one of which you might have missed in my sidebar (though I know you read these links religiously.) Conversational Terrorism all about those naughty tricks which we all use in arguments - seen at Billy's, it is very funny and very acute.

and Bad Sarah's friend Tammi the fabulous jazz singer's gig which is on this Saturday in London Town - be there, or the baaadass Canadian will hunt you down and make you sorry.

On the importance of hairstyles

especially when you have a big nose.

I learned a lot from her, but here is a woman who has not understood herself this important rule. Straight works better than curly when you have a big old hooter. Behold: on the left, quite foxy and Nerfertiti-like. On the right... the horror, the horror!

(I am not mentioning her by name, oh no. I learned from my mistake with C*h*e*r, from whom most of my traffic comes.)



hairstyles

Dublin

Without further ado, herewith some pictures of Dublin and the Festival of World Culture:

Transglobal Underground on the main stage/ Kids rocking out to Transglobal Underground
Party animal Sevitz
Mundy - To You I Bestow mp3 on the Hype Machine
(used on the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack). Listen to the mp3 whilst looking at the picture, it's almost like you are there!

Matthew has more interesting pictures here.

Why are there no pictures of our lovely host and hostess with the mostest, you ask? Because I am a numpty who forgot, that's why.

Things you might not have known about Dublin/Ireland:

Chippies are known as chippers.
At the bank, deposits are known as 'lodgements' - will my money be comfortable lodging here?
If something is deadly, it means it's good.
People do not make shamrocks in the top of your Guinness. That's only in New Zealand (so Matthew tells me.)
There are red-headed people galore in Dublin. Hurrah!


festivals Dublin

FOWC

Gone to visit the Emerald Isle (first time ever!) the Festival of World Cultures, Matt and Nikki, and of course their sofa.
Laters...

Ireland
Festivals

Mission

Sometimes I get irritated with myself because I haven't achieved any of the things you are meant to by my advanced age - no house, no car, no brilliant career, no other half, no kids... But if I'm really truthful, & could have a fairy godmother wave her magic wand, the one thing that I long for is my own place, over and above everything else. Especially this week, staying in my friends' lovely grown-up house, with its big sofa and proper espresso pot and own garden.

Unlike my Young Ones-style student hovel. Little things we don't notice any more - like the spoon sticking out of the back door in lieu of a proper handle, because the wood's so rotten it won't hold up to drilling, that we forget unless visitors ask us 'Why's there a spoon sticking out of the back door?'

So this is my mission this year - 'own own house'. It is the most achievable, notwithstanding London being The Most Expensive City In The World (TM). Tokyo? New York? Monaco? Zurich? Mere pretenders, I tell you.

The reason I write this is just to put it out there in black and white - so if I'm not on the way to having my own in place in one year's time, you have my express permission to throw rotten tomatoes at me and call me a big fat loser.

Book meme

Promise I'll stop with the memes but could not resist this lovely book meme from the witty and handsome Tim:

1. One book that changed your life
Well, not so much my life as my mind, which is quite a powerful thing for a book to do - Toni Morrison’s Beloved, which has as a dedication ‘60 million and more’. As a Jew this took my breath away as it seemed needlessly offensive but by the end of the novel you totally take her point - that slavery was a holocaust that has still not really been acknowledged by history.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once
Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons. Genius, just genius. Satire with a happy ending. She takes very accurate and hilarious potshots at everyone, journalists, writers, film-makers, country folk, city folk… I wish I hadn’t ever read it so could have the pleasure of reading it all over again. I would like to quote the passage on games and the heroine Flora’s habit of ‘running away from the ball’ which beautifully sums up my feeling about sport, but don’t have a copy to hand. (oh, and to add a new category “Character you most identify with’ - Great Aunt Ada Doom.)

3. One book you’d want on a desert island
Ooh, Ullyses or maybe War and Peace, because then I’d finally sit down and read 'em. Or one of those 'learn the guitar the easy way' books. If there was also a guitar on the desert island, otherwise it would just be frustrating. (Or maybe a huge atlas type book which I could then turn into a raft and sail off the desert island on.)

4. One book that made you laugh
Hmm, already told you about Cold Comfort Farm... Tim's already done Douglas Adams... okay then, Mr Tickle, by Roger Hargreaves, always accompanied by some great tickling action.

5. One book that made you cry
I’m pretty stony-hearted usually but Matthew Kneale’s English Passengers made me cry. It’s the kind of book I’d never usually pick up (thought from the cover that it was about boats) but read it in Spain because of the lack of English books. Can't begin to tell you the storyline, it's well complicated. It is a technical tour-de-force, he writes from the point of view of 20 different characters but never loses his grip on the story. Bitterly angry about the effects of colonialism, he really makes you feel the injustice.

6. One book that you wish had been written
Did Mae West ever write an autobiography?

7. One book that you wish had never been written
Blimey, what a bizarre category. Okay, when I worked in bookshops I was always a bit perturbed by the true crime genre. (This was also the most shop-lifted genre, funnily enough. People used to attempt to go out with the contents of a whole shelf of books stuffed down their trousers. Twats.) I mean, what is the appeal of reading about serial killers etc? This kind of curiosity is an ugly side of human nature.

8. One book you’re currently reading
East End Chronicles, by Ed Glinert, a splendid history book all about the dark and dangerous underbelly of London that I currently live in. Medieval Londoners were batshit crazy.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read
Boswell's Life of Johnson. I’ve been to his house, you know.

And you, gentle reader? If you don't fancy the meme, you could tell me what fictional character you most identify with and why...


books
meme

Holiday in Stokey

Warning to Dan and Adrian - you're not going to like this, look away now
















































cats house-sitting Stoke Newington

This month's favourite

Helga von Porno, via Tim.

"I leaped up on his back, and gripping the fat of his torso with my thighs I clonked him two handed on the back of his head..."

Is it just me, or is she brilliant?



blog

Guys

'He asked for my number. Then he phoned after 3 weeks.'
Leila: 'He didn't want to rush things...'
'Right. But he couldn't see me then because the football was on.'
Leila: 'He's a guy.'
'Right. So I left it. Then he texted me. And I phoned and left a message on his voice-mail saying when we should meet. But he didn't reply. Not a text to say he couldn't make it, nothing.'
Leila: 'He's a guy.'
'But what's going on? I didn't contact him. I didn't expect anything, it was him that contacted me. Why do they do this... this weird dance? And they say we're hard to read.'

He's a guy.

sexual politics

Quicky movie reviews

Slaminsky recommends...

After a year seeing virtually no movies, have seen in one week (and fallen head over heels for) the following 3:-

Angel -A - Luc Besson of Leon, The Fifth Element, etc, directs - Jamel Debbouze (the grocer's assistant in Amelie) is a debt-ridden con artist who is about to drown himself in the Seine before the mafia do it for him, when he rescues a beautiful six foot blonde woman who is also about to jump in the river. Turns out she is an angel come to save him from himself...

Rie Rasmussen is the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, like an old-style Hollywood film goddess, and annoyingly a really good actor too. It is very over-the-top, very philosophical, romantic and French. Luc Besson clearly has good taste in women (was married to Milla Jovovich at one point.) (British films are never like this, the most we can do with romance is Richard Curtis films which are frankly awful and embarrassing.)

The Notorious Betty Page - Betty obligingly gets her kit off and her bondage gear on in repressive 50s America, before finding religion. Shot in black and white and in technicolour, it looks gorgeous and will inspire most lady viewers to go and buy some fancy underwear.

not the real Betty










Walk the Line - the story of June Carter and Johnny Cash. Both actors fantastic. Very moving. Why was his dad such a bastard?












films Angel-A Betty Page Walk the Line