Crush

Hats

Voila!
Easter bonnets

The Muppet Matrix

Must get me one of those link columns for gems such as this - the Muppet Matrix.
Kermit as Neo, Gonzo as Mr Anderson. Strangely appropriate casting.

The end is nigh

Or should it be, the light at the end of the tunnel. Easter holidays coming up but lots of scary things to get through before then, viz:

Passing internet-research-part-time-job test (which L referred to scathingly as "like doing a paper round.")

All singing, all dancing Spring Assembly, in front of the WHOLE SCHOOL, and parents. You can't imagine the pressure, my dears. (Against my better judgement, and at the risk of compromising the masculinity of the little boys in my class, was persuaded to have an "Easter bonnet parade.") Suggestions for songs with a spring theme gratefully received.

But worst, worst of all, is taking the little beasts out on a school trip, one of the things I first wrote about here back in the day. It gives me the Fear.


Do you think the chicks would be overkill on the Easter bonnets?

Grease

Lu's Guilty Pleasure's confession got me thinking about Grease.

Okay, nowadays it is hard to buy John Travolta, Olivia Newton John and Stockard Channing (like most of the cast in their twenties/thirties) as gauche teenagers still at high school, but as musicals go, it rocks.

Best bits - Rizzo's torch song, There Are Worse Things I Could Do, which slams the sexual double standard. And the prom dance scene, which is some amazing cinematography, even now. And Sandy's transformation from girly girl to leather- clad total slapper. And John Travolta, very cute in those days.* Plus Thunder Road! I always wanted to be Cha Cha, starting the race off.

*Controversial I know, but controversy holds no fear for Slaminsky.

When you are seven years old, it makes a major impression, so much so that when I was at Lovebox in Victoria Park, the giddy funfair atmosphere brought back the last scene powerfully. I wondered why everyone wasn't bursting into a synchronised dance routine along the lines of We go together

But most of all when you are seven, a lot of it sails straight over your head. Like Kenicki's solitary condom breaking ("I bought it in seventh grade"). I had no idea what was going on in that scene, and only years later got the quite sweet implication that he was a virgin, despite all the laddishness.

Or Rizzo's pregnancy scare ("I feel like a defective typewriter - I skipped a period"). Some of the song lyrics were a tad risque too, I gave my poor dad a shock when innocently inquiring about a word I'd heard in Beauty School Dropout. "Dad, what's a hooker?" I think he muttered something like "It's a naughty lady".

Rad's postcard

arrived today. (Background to postcards here).

Rad, you know how to write for the kids. I know you're having a shit time at work, ever thought about training as a teacher? They love castles.

I also told them "Rad says that Norwich City are a bunch of c****s." (Just kidding. I'm kind of fond of them, because some of the best times I've had were when we lived behind Carrow Road).

Lip-synching. On webcams.

It's car-crash fascinating over on Google Idol. Who knew such things existed?
(via the lovely l'oiseau)

Sam's the man

It's Samuel Beckett's centenary and seeing he's my favourite playwright (in fact, the only playwright I like) and I've never seen any of his plays, I feel like I should book up.

I don't like the theatre, it's so clunky when you compare it with the miracle and myriad possibilities of film. (Quite literally sometimes. We saw an outdoor production of The Tempest in Wales, with very chunky adolescent girls playing the fairies. Thunk! Thunk! when they leapt about the place. Shakespeare, great on the page, lost me on the stage.) Theatre's what we made do with until we invented celluloid, I reckon.

Beckett's all different, he never pretends that it isn't totally artificial and staged, so you can go along with it. At least, I'm hoping.

PS: Please stick a pin in my Guest Map (under Flickr photos). Or I'll be all friendless and lonely.

Ticket to ride

Hooray hooray hooray! Kind of sweetened the fact that the council tax bill arrived in the same post.








(My New York history here)

20 tracks

Inspired by Matt, and Quixotic Evil.

I tag the Curve and G, just because I know they have good taste. And they're both slackers.

1. A track from your early childhood
Bohemian Rhapsody. Distinct memories of sitting at the top of our stairs, age 4, singing along at the top of my voice.

2. A track that you associate with your first love
Gypsy Eyes, Jimi Hendrix

3. A track that reminds you of a holiday trip
Holed up in an unheated cottage in Wales in February, we played Spacemen 3’s Perfect Prescription on constant rotation, especially Transparent Radiation. Reminds me of being cold and damp now.

4. A track that you like but wouldn’t want to be associated with in public
Must be going soft in the head in my old age – it’s Erasure, A Little Respect. Anybody see the episode of Scrubs where everyone was singing it, for no apparent reason?

5. A track that accompanied you when you were lovesick
Call me a hippy, but probably Joni Mitchell’s All I Want

6. A track that you have probably listened to most often
My ipod tells me that it’s Arcade Fire, Rebellion

7. A track that is your favourite instrumental
Don’t like instrumentals, I miss voices. And like song lyrics.

8. A track that represents one of your favourite bands
If You Want Me To Stay, Sly and the Family Stone. I know next to nothing about them, but they were pure genius, especially this song.

9. A track which represents yourself best
Ay, what a question. Lord knows. Funkadelic, Red Hot Mamma? Chaka Khan, I’m Every Woman? Actually, at the moment I feel more like Blondie’s Sunday Girl.

10. A track that reminds you of a special occasion (which one?)
Velvet Underground, Venus in Furs. Getting drunk for the very first time, round Emma's house.
11. A track that you can relax to
I Melt With You, from Nouvelle Vague. Aaaah…

12. A track that stands for a really good time in your life
Fascinating Rhythm, William Orbit. Our friend used to drive us onto campus for Friday’s club night in her pink Morris Minor, making it “dance” to this tune by turning the wheel fast.

13. A track that is currently your favourite
Rihanna’s Pon de Replay. I realise that this was out last summer, what do you want, cutting edge or something?

14. A track that you’d dedicate to your best friend
Again, Velvet Underground, Femme Fatale. Not just because she is one, but for the stupid dance we used to do to it when we were fifteen.

15. A track that you think nobody but you likes
Nobody will confess to liking the Macarena, but everybody charges the dance-floor when it’s played.

16. A track that you like especially for its lyrics
Stevie Wonder, Don’t You Worry About A Thing. Especially for the bit where he’s chatting up a girl at the beginning. “I speak very, very fluent Spanish...Can you say Chevrolet?” If someone said to me what he says in this song, I’d marry them.

17. A track that you like that’s neither English nor German
Manu Chao, Me Gustas Tu. Spanish and French. (and a bit of English)

18. A track that lets you release tension best
The Cult, She Sells Sanctuary. Five minutes of jumping around the room to this wakes me up before work. We saw the Cult play in Hammersmith a million years ago, unfortunately our seats were right up in the gods so our view was impeded by the ceiling. All you could see was this skinny pair of legs in black drain-pipes running around the stage.

19. A track that you want to be played on your funeral
What funeral? I plan to be immortal. Okay, if I must, something by Arvo Pärt, like Cantus in Memoriam Benjamin Britten. That should have them wailing.

20. A track that you’d nominate for the “best of all times” category
Ah, the killer question. Okay, just at this minute, and I'll probably wish I chose something else the second I post it, Nina Simone's I Got It Bad And That Ain't Good. No, wait...

Philosophy

What's it all about, eh?

Graffitti is a beautiful crime

It's an embarrassment of riches - a funky cover of Radiohead's Just, with some beautiful animated graffitti, all filmed in London. (via Londonist.)

Telly

Possibly of local interest only - Alan Moore is on the telly tonight, comic book fans.

What else can I tell you? L is ill and has been moping around the place for the past two days. She has something worse than Bird Flu. I think she has Man Flu.

Song of the week

Working my way through the northern boy's gazillion music files on itunes, he certainly has eclectic taste. Very very eclectic.

Favourite song title I've come across so far is a number by Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty, called "You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly." They just don't make song titles like they used to.

Old geyser

Puffins. Volcanoes. Geysers. Geothermal springs. God was feeling playful when he made Iceland (and the natives improved on this with a cuisine including sour ram's testicles and rotten shark). Most recent postcard comes from Alda in Iceland. Alda, many thanks. They always want to know "Is it from a boy or a girl?" and are fascinated by the fact that I have so many friends, living in exotic places.

Country or city?

Conversation with bad Sarah yesterday, brought up the country vs city issue.

She said we must have been sophisticated teenagers, growing up in the Big Smoke and all. And it's true, you have everything you could possibly want but we were pretty innocent, looking back.

Our folks let us do pretty much what we wanted, and gave us a lot of freedom, probably because they knew, even with all the temptations on offer in the big city, what we most wanted was to hang out in our friends' houses listening to the Velvet Underground whilst practising applying eye make-up.

Whereas country kids, with not much in the way of entertainment except for tipping cows, get into all sorts of mischief.

What about you? Where did you grow up and did it make a difference?

Hammer time

MC Hammer has a blog.

It is disappointing stuff, especially from such a daring fashion icon, but had to be pointed out. Thanks to Sarah's Dave for the link.

Shoot me now

Dear Miss Black

Have you thought about how much money you will have when you retire?

We are writing to tell you how much State Pension you will get when you reach State Pension age. Retirement may seem a long way off but thinking about it now can make a big difference to your future . This is especially important for you, as women often have less money in retirement than men.

This is because women are more likely to have years when they are not paid in work or when they do not pay into a pension because of their caring responsibilities (for example, looking after children.) This is in addition to the glass ceiling which sees some women paid up to 41 per cent less than men for doing the same job throughout their working life. You may wish to take a part-time job in the mean time to supplement the income from your full-time job. We hear that Threshers are currently hiring, and Macdonalds often have part-time hours which particularly suit female employees.

If you retire at State pension age, we estimate your total State Pension as £78.27 a week at today's prices. As this would not cover accommodation, food, transport or bills in London today, let alone in 30 year's time, we suggest that you do not retire at State Pension age.

Many companies now are widening their recruitment criteria to include older employees. For example, many senior citizens find useful employment in laundrettes or handing out towels in nightclub toilets. Additional income could be generated by voluntarily participating in medical research.

Don't forget, it's never too early to start planning for a happy old age!

Love, the Government xxx