If I knew one thing when I left school, I knew I wanted to take photos. I went to a college in Clerkenwell that had been converted from an old Victorian prison (and used to have nightmares whilst there about being in the building & being chased down endless brick stairwells by a knife-wielding psychopath, interestingly enough).
I was so happy to get on that course, but somehow it didn't work out - on paper I was qualified to be there, but had little technical experience and felt like I was fucking everything up in the worst way.
The tutors weren't bad, but expected you to get on with it - I don't recall them doing any actual, well, teaching. And I didn't really connect with any of the other students. It got so that I was dreading going in every day, and when I finally dropped out, felt very guilty and lost.
I drifted around for a year - could kick myself when I look back and see how little I did with that 'year out'(when you get to your thirties, you long for a year out, but at this stage there's much too much to lose.)
What is interesting, since I've been uploading photos from that time, is how much fun I was having up until then with photography - they are not the world's greatest, I admit, but I was never without a camera. I took photos every day as a teenager. Visited exhibitions. Spent all my pennies on paper and films and processing. Spent weekends smuggling myself into the school darkroom.
And after I dropped out - zip, nada, nothing. There is a whole, undocumented, near-20-year era during which I never picked up a camera. It's like that time didn't happen. It's only really recently with my little digital camera that I started taking pictures again.
So my point is this - seeing as my hero is Wolfgang Tillmans, who basically started a whole career by taking photos of his friends in clubs, and now has solo exhibitions at Tate Britain and his very own gallery - is college really necessary? Does formal education destroy people's confidence and creativity? Are people better off following their own path?
(Sometimes, when the kids in my class refuse do what they're meant to, the teacher me will tell them off, but inside I'm thinking 'Good!' You need some 'fuck you' to get by in this world.)
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9 comments:
You are the only other person I've met who expresses a like for Tillmans - I love his work - and Nan Goldin and Robert Mapplethorpe. I remember always wanting his big hardback ridiculously expensive silver gelatin print book of portraits. AS soon as I was slightly flush I had to make do with the large format paperback copy from the ICA! I still have it. Books are the only thing that I have not held back on buying even if I am ridiculously skint.
See you on 21st. x
Annie, I just watcehd your photoset and seeing it made me so inexplicable light-hearted. That is a feeling my easily picure-bored self (damn work, kills everything) hardly ever gets, except maybe after seeing an episode of Brideshead Revisited.
Hmm... what I meant is: I really do like your photos.
I love doing SLR photography, but I almost always carry a digital with these days. So many times in the past I've wished I had a camera to capture a misty morning or other passing moment.
As someone with exactly zero qualifications and a constant fear of the future, I'd say get to effin school/college/university and do some work! If I could go back in time I'd beat some sense into my know-all rebellious indestructible 15 year old self.
Annie - those were so great - I really laughed but they are all beautiful shots of friends. I love seeing you guys like that before I met you all - it's really sweet.
You have inspired me to find some when I go home to Canada and post for you of highschool days etc.
Bad Sar xx
Me too, RoMo, also Nan Goldin and Robert Mapplethorpe. We obviously have the same (impeccable) taste.
Ahhh... thanks Taiga, that really does mean a lot to me.
Llewtrah, I love my little digital camera and how light it is - but still get the best photos with the SLR.
Rad - I guess it's easy to diss qualifications when you have some - but there again, I think people get 'institutionalised' by school/college to some extent and become a bit passive. Can't remember the exact statistic, but a really high percentage of millionaires and entrepreneurs are dyslexic (ie people who are turned off by school will find other ways to survive) - mind you, so are a high percentage of people in prison, apparently.
Thanks Sar - I want to see more of your cheerleader/high school prom type photos...
I think that by over analysing art, you destroy what it was originally created for: to just be enjoyed and reacted to as it is found. I studied English at uni, and a part of my love for the written word certainly withered under continual deadlines, but that's inevitable. Equally, when I worked in my 'dream' job in music radio, my passion for music dwindled, and I started to feel lost. I lost the job in the end, but regained my passion.
I loved the photos, by the way.
Thanks, Del. I know exactly what you mean - I ended up doing English and everyone said 'you could teach English' - over my dead body...
Good questions, and very valid. I had a similar discussion going on my blog about a year ago. I don't have a college or university degree - I dropped out of school four times, I just couldn't handle the educational system for various reasons. I used to be incredibly hung up about it, but today I'm fine with it. I've managed to forge a path for myself that many people with college degrees are still struggling with. A degree probably opens some doors, but so does hard work, common sense, and people skills. I'm not saying it's for everybody, but it worked for me.
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