(It's on telly tonight, in case you wondered.)I always hated When Harry Met Sally, partly because Billy Crystal is so irritating (really Meg Ryan, you could do better) and mostly because of the 'men and women can't be friends' speech.*
But in my old age I'm beginning to think that Nora Ephron knew whereof she spoke, and that maybe there's a grain of truth in this. Because most of my male friends have vanished over the years (in fact the only ones I have now are going out with my female friends, and we wouldn't really phone each other up and hang out. That would be odd.)
This could be because in fact I'm evil, evil, and they don't want to be friends anymore... Hmm, never thought of that before. Or maybe because they eventually all got girlfriends who are twitchy about them seeing some unattached female. Or because men are just rubbish at maintaining friendships (always so pleased to hear from you, but will never pick up the phone). (Gay men are the same too, I've had gay colleagues I've been close to but when we no longer worked together, did they write, did they call?) I don't know. I miss them. I love my chicas, but it is a question of balance, it's yin and yang, isn't it?
What do you think? Do you have friends of the opposite sex? Do they have a hidden agenda? Am I talking out of my hat (as usual)?
* Harry: You realise of course that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
form, is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive, he
always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds
unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much wanna nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the
friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
9 comments:
Yes let's!(G was released from college I should point out, not from gaol or from any other type of institution)
He is very irritating, but he gets better as the character gets older. As for the conversation, I'm not really sure what I make of it. Certainly there are various things that could get the way of mixed friendships, but repressed attraction is only one and this creepy little man is obsessed with it.
Yeah, actually you're right, he is pretty awful...
I still like the film though.
I have quite a few female friends. Where it would be incorrect to say there is no repressed attraction it is certainly the exception rather than the rule.
I've got plenty of female friends and most of them are attractive. Well, I'd say all but two are attractive. Guess I'm lucky with GH, the truth being she knows most of my friends and she likes them too, but probably most other women would be mad at me whenever a friend flirts a bit with me...
QE I watched it again and quite like it now, especially for this exchange:
Sally: (crying) And I'm going to be forty!
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday...
Harry: In eight years...
Billy, jolly good. If you're in a couple, bravo! If you're single, just don't drop 'em when you're going out with someone, that's all I'm saying...
Dcver, GH is cool. Your comment made me laugh, I feel unaccountably sorry for the two you say aren't attractive. I hope you still bother to flirt with them ;-)
I'd love to be able to say that I have loads of close male friends and we hang out all the time, but I think the sad truth is that Nora Ephron was probably right. My only really close, long-standing, male friend is gay, and that kind of sums it up, really.
Glad it's not just me then, Patroclus
Why would I want any female friends? Girls are icky.
And...well, in my experience, the reason most attached blokes don't keep up with their females friends isn't because of the bloke. Let's just put it that way.
How can you say that Del? Girls are made from sugar and spice and all things nice. I think you'll find it's boys who are made from snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails.
Bah. There is no hope.
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