V and I are passing through the customs at JFK.
'You've got somewhere to stay, V?' asked the customs official.
'Yes' said V
Well, where are you staying?
'At a friend's house. Janine S___' she says (like they'll know her.)
Okay... they say, and let her pass through with all the luggage.
It's my turn. I only have a small bag, as V has all the others.
'Where's your bag, Annie?' they say suspiciously.
'Over there' I gesture. 'On the trolley.'
Okay, they say, and let me through.
As I walk on, I hear them go 'Trolley! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!'
What do they call them in America then?
(The first time we all went to New York I remember some language difficulties then too. We all piled out onto the street the first morning, all giddy with excitement and with a desire to sample America's finest cuisine for breakfast. We asked two Latino-looking boys outside a bodega where we could go to eat.
'We're looking for a diner...'
'A what?'
'A diner... DINER...'
They shook their heads in bafflement, like we were talking in Japanese. I pronounced this word later for Bad Sarah, who being from Canadia knows the North American ways better than us. She said we said it too hard. She repeats it back to me in my London accent and I hear what it sounds like; like Pearly Kings and Queens, eel pie and mash, Chas n' Dave, the entire cast of Eastenders having a knees up round the old joanna. No wonder they couldn't understand us. I will practice saying 'di-nerrr' for the next time that I go.
(Anyway, getting some serious wanderlust. Would dearly love a Brooklyn road trip around about Easter time... The bed of my dreams just might have to wait...)
About Courbet (yet again)
1 day ago
19 comments:
I deal with feeling super British on a daily basis, being surrounded by Anglophile Germans and Americans who think the accent is cute. I can quite see why some expats end up becoming increasingly British, to the point of ridiculousness.
Mind you, RFM sounds EXACTLY like Dick Van Dyke when he attempts a British accent, and that makes up for it.
They used to laugh at me back in Bristol when I attempted the local accent.
I believe in the US it's a 'cart'.
I tried to order a sandwich in Washington once, and the person behind the sandwich bar asked me to repeat my order about five times, before giving up and asking me if I was Spanish.
In New York in may my sister asking for a packet of Marlboro lights turned into a 10 minute farce. It ended with her pointing and shouting 'up', 'down' etc. And I thought the Irish built America...
I could be wrong but I always thought a trolley 'over there' was a tram.....so I suspect he was disappointed to see you with a little luggage cart rather than your own public transport system.
When I speak to Americans, I try to sound like an upper-crust villain, probably one with serious nanny issues, and by some miracle they understand everything I say.
(Incidentally, Dick Van Dyke has been supplanted as the mack daddy of bad Cockernee by Dominic West, who plays Baltimore cop McNulty in The Wire. In one scene McNulty had to pass as an English businessman in a brothel and came out with an accent that passed through Dublin and Woolamaloo before expiring somewhere over Cape Town. Especially impressive when one remembers that West was born in Sheffield and went to Eton.)
Thatsh absoyd, ya cwazy bwoad.
I've not been to America. But I have been to the North East. Everyone there thought I was a cockernee. Even though I'm pure estuary, with a hint of the Watford twang. I do posh it up a bit for visiting North Americans, though. You don't like to disappoint them, do you?
I think they call trolleys "carts" over there, although I can't for the life of me think why, as carts have pram wheels on them and are steered with string down hills when you are nine.
And they call herbs 'erb. Why? Why? Why?
Rockmother – don't get me started on oregano and the whole courgette/zucchini debate.
Tim – I have nearly finished watching the Sopranos and everyone has told me that I must now watch The Wire because it's better.
Already......as in 'Won't you go already?', or 'Shut up, already!'. That one always leaves me slightly baffled, plus their penchanct for giving their kids two surnames instead a normal, proper Christian name and a surname, i.e Parker Posey, Jackson Pollack....
You say cilantro, I say coriander... doesn't really work does it?
Matt, the thing you describe as having, "pram wheels on them and are steered with string down hills when you are nine" isn't a cart it's a bogey....or was when I was growing up in Scotland.
It's bad enough having the Septics being unable to speak English without the English joining in too ;)
Um, I have to watch The Wire and Sopranos with English subtitles.
Then again, even though it's twelve years since I moved from The Midlands to The Smoke, I still sometimes find it difficult to make myself understood here and require a translator to explain what I'm saying.
Aaahh, Brooklyn. *sigh*
Alan, it's a Cartie! A bogey is an impressive result on a golf course or something children prefer to eat when confronted with Brussel Sprouts! :D
I got accused of being Australian while in New York, but that was okay. The canadian who accused me of it was most offended when I asked him why he didn't have a flip top head like terrence and philip.
It's "pavement", not "sidewalk".
What the hell is "Jaywalking" anyway?
Ah Marsha, thank you - 'cilantro' was involved in one of the recipes and I didn't like to show my ignorance...
The Curve, I'm comfortable with 'already' as it's a Jewish thing... alright, already?
Istvanski, yeah and they say we're a nanny state. It's not illegal for pedestrians here except on motorways, which makes sense really.
Trolley (UK) = cart (US)
The one that really cracks me up is "we are going to land momentarily". I want to land IN a moment, not FOR a moment (presumably doing touch-and-goes and the passengers have to dive out the door in the split second the plane is on the tarmac)
The other is "detained by immigration" when they mean "delayed" rather than "placed in custody".
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