English men are rubbish. Every time I have been chatted up or otherwise approached in the last year it was by a furriner.
(The last one was a suave hand-kissing, if drunken, Argentinian in the pub for bad Sar's birthday - or should I count yesterday in Old Compton Street - a most unlikely place - a foreign of un-specified nature made that kiss-kiss, hissing noise that most people make to cats. This noise is of course also irresistible to women.)
I know, I know - I know it's hard; after all I'm a paragon of beauty, an ice-maiden glittering with remoteness on my pedestal, in short, a goddess - but goddesses have their mortal needs and desires too. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU LILY-LIVERED WUSSES?
(I know some smartarse is going to pop with 'Ah but Annie, you call yourself a feminist, why don't you make the first move?' To which I say - I'll get back to you on that. And anyway, nobody likes a smartarse.)
About Courbet (yet again)
2 days ago
31 comments:
Oh lord, everybody hates this. I've managed to alienate everybody, men & women, in one fell swoop... I was kidding - really I'm a moose, which is why I never get chatted up.
Where are all the haters? Just like men are all dying to be asked, so are women. Isn't that a human kind of thing to want?
Thank you for saving me from the tumbleweed, B. I think they hate it because they are keeping quiet...
Don't ask me, I'm rubbish at chatting up. Not only am I English and male but I'm also shy.
Bah.
If it's a boyfriend you want, I'll ask around for you.
The only English men who are good at chatting up work on greengrocers' stalls.
Billy - bah indeed. Still you managed to get a lovely lady interested, bravo!
Istvanski - the practicalness of your response pleases me.
Geoff - how true, but a bit nippy to hang around market stalls at the moment hoping for an ego boost.
I got chatted up by a really drunk Irishman at Wimbledon Greyhound Stadium tonight (see my next post). If I'd known Annie I would have given him your number..............(not!!) You are far too good for him despite the fact he told me that he has put up to £2000 on a greyhound and won. I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
RoMo - see?! Irish, not English. Ooh, I love the idea of gambling as a way out of wage slavery. Did you win anything?
>>>in short, a goddess
Exactly that. The whole "I'm a godess, come crawling unto me on your belly to beg for a chance to win my affections, if you think you're man enough." that English women do.
Er... thanks, but no. I'll go and chat up that nice approachable Dutch girl instead, or the laid back Irish chick, or the friendly Kiwi lady.
Annie - yes I did! I backed the winner of the first 4 races and made £58. I then got a big outsider as 2nd and won a further £40! Hilarious. I started with £8. After a couple of rounds of drinks and two losses I still came out about £45 up. Big fun. x
(*note to self - irony not working for you*)
LC - utter bollocks. Clearly we live in alternate realities.
RoMo, I'm coming down the dogs with you next time.
Sorry, don't know what I was thinking there. You're absolutely right of course - it's obviously because English men are all wusses and no other reason. Entirely our fault as usual.
Strange, I would have sworn you were talking about Icelandic men. Guess that proves what everyone says - that Icelanders and Brits were separated at birth.
LC - touche, my friend. I am prepared to concede that you are the exception amongst English men. (Though you did recently post about a woman smiling at you in the street - no doubt she was a friendly Kiwi/Irish/Dutch, or just possibly an English wondering why men check her out in passing but never talk to her. 'Perhaps if I smile at him he'll talk to me... no... oh well, never mind...')
Alda - I love it when you back me up. Though you have somewhat punctured my daydreams about Iceland as an idyll of gorgeous self-confident Viking men.
I chat up people all the time. New Year was especially amusing. I saw a girl I'd crashed and burned with a couple of months back. Thought I'd better say hello. So I do, she does the whole "oh, nice to meet you." Which confused me. I'm unforgettable, surely. Spoke to the host, turns out she was a completely different girl who, to my drunken eyes, just looked the same. So I thought, what the hell, I'll chat her up too.
Spoke to her for a while, relying on my usual brand of drunken banter. Made a fairly unsubtle move. And she pointed out her boyfriend doing the boogie on the other side of the room. Nice! She was Irish though, so that slightly ruins my point.
But I have chatted up quite a few English girls of late. I think the problem is more of a London thing really. People going into the whole sat on the tube rabbit in the headlights look if you talk to them without a preceding letter of engagement from a mutual friend or family member. London needs to loosen up, man.
Del, you are right. L is from Manchester and always complained she never got chatted up once she'd moved to London.
I love it that you crash and burn and try again.
I love it that you thought she was someone else. Hilarious!
I love it that you chat people up.
Bravo, that man!
I think I quite like English men. More approachable than German men. Sexier than French men. Um, what other stereotypes can I grope for? Dishier than Spanish men? Mind you, the Russian and I both fainted about once a second in Scotland over the 'festivities'. Wall-to-wall dish.
At least you know where you are with an Englishman - nowhere! ha ha.
Seriously, without wanting to launch into WW3, I think that you could do far worse than an Englishman......
Can we not make some kind of trade off – menstruation and childbirth vs having to ask for a date first?
I'm glad you approve. I'm not entirely sure that I do.
It's perfectly okay for women to take the initiative and chat up a shy Englishman!
Welsh boys are worse than English boys. English boys actually do seem to chat me up from time to time but Welsh boys never do. Which is a bit pants considering I live in Wales. Bah!
So happy that people are commenting and I'm not a social pariah. Yet.
BiB, I like English men too - I just wish they were a little less cool and reserved. An American girl I knew said she liked English men because 'They're not too soft, and they're not too hard.' I don't think she just meant sexually either.
Bowleserised - I think I love you.
Hi, Neurotic Girl - maybe this is at the root of the problem - people feel they can only chat up someone with an accent. Maybe it's something to do with feeling like you're on holiday and normal rules don't apply...
No-one ever chats me up. That's because I'm ugly, have a loathsome personality and only ever talk about cat poo.
Pish posh, what nonsense. If you don't get chatted up it merely proves my point.
GSE, stop being naughty. (And you've never talked cat-poo to me.)
My girlfriend before last bewitched me with a conversation about rotting pig carcasses. I just had to have her...
How could you let her go?
GSE, the answer is clear. You've just got to find a cat-lover such as yourself.
bib - just you wait...
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