Work relationships...
yay or nay?
About Courbet (yet again)
2 days ago
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About Me
- Annie
- My haphazard, erratically updated blog about printmaking. Recent posts are for the Critical Debates module on MA Printmaking at Middlesex University
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20 comments:
Nay. Been there done it. Big mistake.
Home becomes an extension of work - you end up talking shop even if you don't mean to.
When you split up you may still have to work with the person and that can get really difficult, especially if you are bitter.
Having been there more than once I am not going to do it again.
Ooh god no, never. I had a bit of a (very misguided) mini work fling once, but never a relationship. It would be all wrong, for all the reasons that Llewtrah cites.
Mind you, one of my best friends married her boss and they now have a lovely house and two lovely kids, and still work together, so it does work for some people.
Hmmm, what an interesting question. I've been having a workplace fling that has about run its course and overall it has done me a power of good. Of course it might help that I'm an agency worker so temp anyway, however I have been in the current place for two years. What decided it in the end? She was fucking gorgeous, if you'll pardon my French. Plus incredibly funny, astonishingly bright with a mind as sharp as a razor. Of course she laughed at my jokes, and me, I just made big eyes at her and thought, bleedin hell I'm doing well here. Overall, she ticked most of my boxes and I ticked quite a few of hers, shame that she didn't want something long term, however in terms of confidence the fling has done me a power of good and she tells me it has done her the same. So, we are adult about it and are moving on. Sigh. I think it's as much about mindset as anything else and if you can handle the disappointment and focus on the positives then you can be okay. The other side of that coin unfortunately is that these things can be a bloody disaster. But I do believe you can weigh up the pro's and cons, and they are there, pro's as well as cons.
Llewtrah - right, noted.
Patroclus - okay. But then... lovely house, lovely kids, lovely marriage...
I'm getting mixed messages here.
Aw, Dan - I feel kind of sad that it didn't work out with the gorgeous co-worker. Glad it was fun though. Yes, temp working is the way to go, more awkwardness when you work in the same place & see each other day in day out...
yay, Annie. carpe diem and all that, take these opportunities wherever and whenever they arise.
Annie,
Aw, thanks mate. I should say though that overall this fling has been a top experience and even if it didn't work out as I'd hoped that wasn't as important to me as having the experience in the first place. This short relationship left me feeling great about myself, it raised my confidence, it said to me Dan me old mucker, you're back in the zone. Wey hey! To that extent the whole thing has been a tremendous success and that it ended is not as important as the fact that it happened at all. If the opportunity for a relationship/fling, whatever comes your way then bloody bite the bugger's hand off! Have a laugh, have fun, be ridiculous, but be alive. And if it doesn't work out, well, you've just had a laugh, a bit of fun and been a bit ridiculous. But didn't it feel good whilst it was going on? And doesn't it just give you an appetite for more. So you get back up, open the door, look out into the street of life and at the top of your voice shout, "NEXT!"
.... "Don’t you know when you’re loving anybody, baby,
You’re taking a gamble on a little sorrow,
But then who cares, baby,
‘Cause we may not be here tomorrow, no.
And if anybody should come along,
He gonna give you any love and affection,
I’d say get it while you can, yeah!" Joplinski.
Yours: Seaninski- Slaminsky you were mentioned by istvanski
Rosie, Dan - RAAARGH! BRING IT ON!!
Hi Sean! I do love Janis, how can you not?
Oh, like any other relationship, if it works, it works and if it doesn't it doesn't.
And that's why we spend all our time obsessing about our lovelives and writing songs and novels about it.
That was spectularly unhelpful, wasn't it?
But statistically most people meet life partners via work.
I'm agreeing with Rosie here. It may sound like a bad idea to go out with someone from work but if the alternative is like someone from work but not go out with them because of principal, well that just seems boring to me.
I've seen both success and disaster with work relationships. The Army has something called the Service Test which means your not allowed to have a relationship which might negatively impact on operational effectiveness (i.e shagging your boss). It tends to mean that if people do form a relationship one or other will be moved somewhere else within the Unit so that there's no conflict of interest so to speak.
I see this as a win-win thing. If it works out and it's gorgeous, hurrah! If it's a disaster then it's the spur you wanted (?) to get out of teaching. No?
Initially, I was gonna say it's a no-no, unless either of you are thinking of leaving anytime soon.
But no....fuckit. If there's genuine feelings there, then why not go with them and follow your heart. It's much better than thinking logically!
A bad idea. Really shouldn't do it. I have snogged three of my work colleagues over the last seven years of employment.
Has it resulted in emotional turmoil and disaster? Yup.
Do I regret any of it? Nope.
Would I do it again? Yup.
I did it once - I sort of knew it was bad but the thrill was far too exciting to pass up. Needless to say it ended in tears and was quite difficult working with him after it all went silly - mainly because he already had a girlfriend whom he told me he was going to leave - and of course never did. We were 23 so I suppose we were allowed to be so crap. I wouldn't do it now. Home-wrecking is bad. I would say if there are no strings attached and you both get on then go for it on the understanding that no one is expecting to get anything out of it - and if you do (like Patroclus's friend) then fantastic. I suppose it all comes down to how well you know each other in the first place. If you are already good friends then perhaps it will be easier if it doesn't work out. But, and a big but - if you have any modicum of doubt at all then really trust it and tread water a little for a bit more gauging time before you jump in the deep end without a float!
Goodness - apologies for the Mariella Frostrup Observer agony page style ramble. I must go and have a coffee and wake up properly. xx
I've never really been tempted by having a romantic relationship with a work's colleague (well, not much), as I've learned from other people's experiences.
I've seen the awkwardness between a post-split couple at work which must've been stressful enough for the couple in question.
I've known one lady at work who married and divorced two of her work's colleagues in quick succession and has gone on to dating quite a few more during and since. Because it's such a male orientated industry she therefore has made quite a reputation for herself (or perhaps it's the male element of the workplace that has embellished that reputation upon her?).
But as has been said before, if two people have a common bond, then what difference does it make where/how they meet?
Agreed, it's also nice to go home and not talk shop. It's boring enough talking shop when you're at work!
Oh no. Now I'm really confused.
Still, just toying with the idea really.
Slip some whiskey into his coffee, then jump him behind the photocopier.
I'd say go for it rather than not. But is this theoretical or is there someone that's really tickling your fancy?
Hm, primary school not the best place for illicit naughtinesses Del. (Though outside the school, say behind the bikesheds, might be a possibility.)
BiB, ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
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