I've been waiting for this to come out in paperback for ages. Here are the things I learned about myself reading it:
Roleplay, bootlicking, spanking - a possible yes.
Enemas, suffocation, cutting, electrocution - no, no, no *shudder*
There goes my daydream of pulling in some extra pennies by moonlighting in a dungeon. Back to the drawing board *sigh*
PS: She was a professional chef, and there is an uneasy mixture of delightful descriptions of food and stomach-turning scenes of SM. It's very well-written, on the whole.
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5 days ago
22 comments:
I always thought the cheesegrater option was a bit harsh. Garlic crusher on the balls is a bit severe too.
Is anyone crossing their legs yet? I haven't even got one and it makes me want to cross mine.
The only boots I'd lick are Bobby Moore's.
I don't know about licking boots, what's wrong with boot polish?
"...there is an uneasy mixture of delightful descriptions of food and stomach-turning scenes of SM."
Are you sure it isn't a Nigel Slater you're reading?!
You can't beat a bit of S & M.
My Doc Martens are in the cupboard if you're that desperate.
Tsk. Hasn't RoMo got a filthy mind?
Ister - I saw it on a BBC documentary about S&M enthusiasts a few years ago. Grown men asking to have their todger inserted in a loo roll lined with sandpaper. Hilarious! And there was a cheesegrater option too - that's where I got it from but in any case, I do have quite a filthy mind - but what's wrong with that?
Roleplay: the erotic possibilities of Whose Line Is It Anyway. Starring the lovely Slaminsky as Clive Anderson, and my humble self as Josie Lawrence.
Who's going to be Tony Slattery, Tim?
RoMo - Is that the same documentary where that old bloke got off on drinking that lady's urine?
What were you doing watching that??
Please don't tell me you were stuck for ideas...
RoMo, me too. ouchouchouch!
(reminds me of when I was talking to a lovely student of mine in Spain.
Annie: what's your job?
Student: I'm a doctor
Annie: Oh, what kind of doctor?
Student: A gynaecologist.
Annie: (inadvertently sitting far back and crossing her legs) Oh, really?)
I think y'all have the wrong idea, boys... YOU are meant to pay for it, and it's meant to be for fun.
Marsha, I didn't know Nigel was into SM, though he did get up to some hanky panky in Toast.
Tim, Josie Lawrence hey? Okay, I can see that.
Hold on, am I Clive Anderson in this scenario? It'll cost you...
Istvanski - you had to take it too far...
Can you whip up a soufflé now?
i once wrote a sex manual (under a nom de plume) as a spin off from a tv prog. anyway, i wrote it with my usual writing partner and we'd have these phone calls that would go: 'haven't you finished foreplay yet?'
'no it's taking ages. we'll never get onto penetration at this rate.'
oh - how we laughed.
>>>YOU are meant to pay for it, and it's meant to be for fun.
I never understood the attraction of paying a woman to be all bossy and demanding, when that's pretty much their natural state anyway. I'd be much more interested in paying them to STFU and do as they're told.
Looks like it's a def cheesegrater on the knob for LC then!
Greavsie - yes, and beat an egg...
Hello Rivergirlie - you, madam, are my heroine. Wanna swap jobs?
Ah LC, how we miss you. So much so that your witless sexist mutterings are like music to my ears.
RoMo - right, all this macho posturing - methinks he doth protest too much...
You're proposing that men should give you money in exchange for physical abuse, and I'm the sexist?
Right on, sister...
Only if they, like, ask for it. I'm not proposing to beat up random men for fun. Is it sexist if they're calling the shots?
It is interesting, this question though - in the book she says clients would say to her 'You can do anything you want' as if it was all about what she wanted, and not what they had asked for and were paying for...the fantasy being that they were doing this for her and not for their own pleasure. Hard to get your head around this thinking.
"I'm not proposing to beat up random men for fun."
Does that mean you're only in it for the money as well?
Only kidding.
Only half joking about this you know. Here's my thinking - another 30 years of wage slavery to go: London so ridiculously expensive there is no way to get off the treadmill without doing something vaguely illegal: we all do jobs for pay rather than for job satisfaction - (already I'm acting out a role in the day job - I'm not naturally authoritative) and the 'private sector' offers more than the public sector...
I can see the neon sign now:
Miss Bossy Boots - just don't tell her what to do!
xx
As a sometime BDSMer I've hung out with masters and mistresses. Sometimes even the conversation is eyewatering!
Aha. I would love to hear more next blogmeet Llewtrah...
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