I'm walking near Brick Lane when a man stops me. He has no front teeth and looks, well, rough.
'Sorry to stop you love' he's not quite looking at me 'I need 70p, I'm trying to get money to get a cab to Homerton Hospital, I came off my bike...' he rolls up his sleeve and holy shit, there is a chunk, a complete chunk of flesh been taken out of his forearm, and blood is running down his hand. 'Oh God' I say involuntarily. He rubs his leg as I find my wallet and give him a couple of quid. We part without saying anything to each other. I'm thinking about it. It had the feel of a sting, a scam, (why get a cab? You could get a bus from Hackney Road straight there, or call an ambulance? And why 70p?) and I'm left feeling like I've been scammed, but anyone desperate enough to damage themselves like that in order to beg needs the money more than me, surely?
I stopped giving money to people a few years ago. I'm not sure why. Maybe because there's so many people begging now. Something to do with it not changing the status quo. Something to do with feeling angry, then feeling guilty about feeling angry when I'm so lucky. Guilt's the price you pay for feeling privileged and lucky, I guess it's a small price but there is no way to live without shame.
Guilty liberals. In a play we saw the other night, England People Very Nice, which lampoons every group that's moved through the east end, from Huguenots, to Irish, to Jews, to Bangladeshis and finally Yuppies, one character chides another for being a liberal. 'Only a liberal would blame themselves for being mugged.' I asked a friend more radical than me, a girl who had worked in sexual health clinics in Nairobi and did Development Studies, why liberal was a dirty word. Didn't liberal people have good intentions? 'They don't look at causes, they just want to paper over the cracks. They don't go far enough. They're not interested in cause and effect.'
She was bang on, describing me. I wanted to help, and I didn't want to get involved, he was counting on that when he rolled up his bloody sleeve. No interfering and no questions asked...
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18 comments:
Brilliant comment by your friend.
I think I got scammed by same bloke just off Brick Lane last Weds. He was on crutches and looked like he was on his last 2 months of being alive on drugs ie: very dependent! He dropped all his change and I picked it all up for him. I gave him money because he said he wanted money for a drink. I asked him not to spend it on drugs. Like he was going to promise me he wouldn't? There was such an unspoken understanding between us it was ridiculous. Oh how fast he was to get away on the crutches - he had a big swollen foot due to too much injecting I reckon. Then I saw him ten mins later accosting tourists outside Liverpool St nick for money. The front of it! It sounds like the same guy. It made me feel sad too as he was a kid once and still had that painful air of vulnerability. He had a 'grass' scar mouth to cheek too. Sad.
Hey Quink. She's a clever girl. Have you abandoned blogging, or are you taking a break?
RoMo, oh no. If it is the same one, he must have been in the wars. Terrible.
Only Liberals would beat themselves up for being Liberal.
I think your friend has a point, but I think it's a little more complex than that. Like any label, Liberal just bundles people together and doesn't really mean anything. It's just a stick for selfish conversatives to beat us with.
And on the other side, what's better? To play the hand you're dealt and feel a bit guilty, or to be a smug trustafarian who goes to Africa for a few weeks and then convinces themselves they've changed the world? (Not saying your friend is like that, but I know a lot of people who are.)
Not sure what I'm trying to say. I just think it's a hugely complex issue.
My problem with talking about being "scammed" by beggars is that it rather assumes people take up begging as a considered career choice.
I got scammed a year or so ago with the same bloody forearm - I'm guessing he should give up on the bike and walk everywhere.
But Ian, if someone comes up and spins you a yarn about having to pay for a parking ticket or to get their car unclamped or whatever, instead of being honest, that is a scam surely? (That's why we liked this man.)
Anonymous, thanks, I was sure there was something up. WHAT IS THE STORY WITH HIS ARM THOUGH? Is it food dye? Is it real blood? Does he self-harm? Really grim...
Del, I missed you. True, it is complex - it's funny that you say it's a stick for conservatives, as conservatives tend to think of liberals as wooly. I was thinking more of more leftwing people who look on liberals with contempt because they don't do enough to change the status quo, whilst appearing to have a conscience. It's like that Bob Dylan Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll song 'Now ain't the time for your tears...'
Ooer, bad bloggers, you're going to make me late for work again.
I nearly got scammed by this guy outside Liverpool St Station, he passed me by for a more affluent guy in a suit, which made me suspect he was less desperate than he appeared!
Are you a different anonymous, anonymous? I feel better now.
Very true, but we're only human. At any random point in a day there is only so much you can do. You were presented with an unplanned opportunity to help. You tried to help. That is as much as you can do, without taking on the entire welfare system reform (feel free to do this, should the opportunity arise).
Most people wouldn't have bothered, and wouldn't be thinking about it afterwards.
So. The question is. What *are* you going to do now..? :-)
Being conned usually leaves the target feeling bad, what ever the situation the 'artiste' might be in. That bad feeling is a mix of humiliation, anger, bewilderment, guilt.
I think you did what most reasonable, gentle people do. The Rads, with their enviable supplies of energy can, in addition, print off some unreadable 'newspapers' and set up a table outside Dorothy Perkins.
I have a direct debit to Shelter and kid myself that that's a better thing to do. Of course, that's no contribution to the homeless problem in Berlin.
I am a different anonymous anonymous! I'm one of those blog lurkers who enjoys everyone's blogs immensely and this is the first time I've commented. It's a relief when you know other people have had a similar experience.
Sarah
Boz - thanks. I'm going to set up a soup kitchen. Not. I guess what I mean is that wringing your hands is all very well, but comes a time when you feel you should be doing more. I think we're going to hell in a handcart but just moaning about the government is not especially effective. You're dead right, the question is WHAT to do?
Arabella, thanks too. You made me laugh, because it's spot on - I picked up one of those papers recently from someone on the street, it was actually a group I'd been thinking about joining, but it was so terribly written it put me off.
B, it's a good thing to do. Give the money to the professionals, they know what they're doing.
Hey Sarah! Don't be shy now, we're not scary.
You're right, of course, Annie. And you had, in any case, made my point better than me when you wrote: "Anyone desperate enough to damage themselves like that in order to beg needs the money more than me, surely."
And thanks for the reminder of that earlier post which allowed me to revisit the chuckle elicited by Oyebilly's comment.
Good grief.
I'd rather be called 'pinko scum' than 'wooly liberal'.
Your reply to Boz, Arabella and Bowlerised made me laugh. That group outside Dorothy Perkins you were put off joining because of their bad writing skills - you could've offered your writing skills to help them. Give the money to the professionals 'cos they know what they're doing whilst moaning about the government?
It is still "we the people", isn't it?
Rah my arse...
;-P
Istvanski, you have confused me! They weren't so bad at writing, it was more what they were saying that was disappointing. All about the capitalist swine pigs and nothing useful or practical... God no, the government are not professionals, but Shelter (Bowleserised's standing order is to Shelter) most definitely are, you wish the government would listen to them a bit more. Not sure how to answer it's still 'we the people isn't it?' What, am I being a snob?
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