Friday, March 30, 2007

Imaginary crushes

So I'm reading Georges Simonon - about 'a little Russian Jew, suspected of the murder of his tarty wife who has disappeared' - I love this character, as well as the cover which made it irresistible, and it got me thinking about literary crushes.

My favourite is Valentin in Kiss of the Spider Woman, all about a revolutionary and a window dresser banged up in prison together during the military dictatorship in Argentina, for being respectively Marxist and gay. One of the best books I've ever read and technically genius, told entirely through dialogue, the film plots they tell each other to while away the time and the reports of the secret police who are spying on them. (Also a pretty good film with William Hurt and Raul 'Gomez' Julia.)

Molina falls in love with Valentin, though he is asked to betray him to save his own skin; Valentin ends up sleeping with Molina, more out of love and affection than desire. It is all about the idea of manhood and what constitutes bravery, I wish I could meet someone with the integrity of Valentin. Interesting that my ideal man should have been dreamed up by a gay author.

LC was saying that on dating websites women often claim they are 'looking for Mr Darcy', which is utterly preposterous. I bet you have some better literary crushes than that - go on, spill the beans, and tell us why...

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Spongeblog

There's a new blogger on the block - looky here. Too cute for words. (No jokes about monkeys with typewriters...)

(via Londonist)

Yes yes, I know I said no more posts this week. So I cracked. So sue me.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Guilty Pleasures

Welcome to the Slaminsky Mix Tape number 9 - (very odd and extremely random) Guilty Pleasures. It starts off innocuous enough, I have no shame for liking Stevie Wonder's Uptight, but buried away in there are some true horrors. (Like Rhiannon - I do love the Mac, though there is something very Spinal Tap about the line 'All your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind.')

Minus 1000 groovy points for me.

Close all the curtains, crank it up to 11 and you can pretend you're a torch singer along with Liza, or dance around your bedroom like Bez while no-one's watching...





PS That's it for the week. Is it me or do I spend an awful lot of time online? Should probably be out doing something more productive, like looking for houses, or life partners, or something...

Other mix tapes for the discerning listener: the Original mix tape; a Dirrrty mix tape; eighties Haircut mix tape; HipHopola mix tape; Guitars; Coming In From the Cold; Bubblegum and Sisters

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Edie Sedgwick

So I went to see Factory Girl, and I do recommend it, only if you're a Warhol aficionado though, everyone else will be wondering what all the fuss is about I suspect.

See, we had a little Edie Sedgwick history. When we were teens, one of our friends was given a book about her by a music journo/sixties pop culture obsessive (who went on to be in a sixties- influenced Britpop band/DJ duo - and can I just say, at the time she was 15, you were 24 - you dirty old man!)

It was 'Edie: An American Biography' by Jean Stein, and is an absolutely monumental biography, even if you have no interest whatsoever in music, pop art, New York, the sixties, Warhol, Dylan, or even Edie Sedgwick herself.

Because it was assembled and edited through hours of interviews with different people who knew her and is all told through direct speech, and gives you such a clear picture of that time and place, and that particular human being's trajectory. You get to hear so many different voices and slants on the sixties era. It's a multi-faceted portrait, and you wonder why anyone would ever write a biography in any other way. (though you can see where the problems might arise with Shakespeare, say, or Elizabeth I.)

To make a long story short, she was from a rich, privileged high society American family with a monstrous Dostoyevskian father who was sexually abusing his eight children, two of whom committed suicide and one (Edie) who escaped to art school, then New York and eventually, into drugs.

I got interested in Pop Art through reading it (and listening to the Velvet's Banana album) and ended up doing a dissertation on Warhol at school, even dragging my long-suffering friends to see his unwatchable films at the Tate (Chelsea Girls, I seem to recall, not the notorious Empire State, I'm not that cruel.)

The film is a poor shadow of the book, though Sienna Miller is wonderful - she doesn't have Edie Sedgwick's huge eyes or charisma but she makes her vulnerable and real. And the detail is uncanny - Andy Warhol's stripey breton tops, Factory hangers-on like Ondine or Gerard Malanga who are identical to their real-life characters, I even remember certain hats or earrings she wore from stills in the book which they've tracked down.

It is pretty harsh on poor Warhol, whose only sin I think was in being superficial, and pretty easy on Dylan (who wrote Just Like a Woman, Leopardskin Pillbox Hat and - I reckon - Like A Rolling Stone about her - and Lou Reed wrote Femme Fatale about her, we think) who just shagged her and moved on. But then, one of them is no longer in a position to sue.

Poor Edie. She overdosed at 28. But when you look at the pictures and films, her fascination is in the fact that she looks almost child-like, you couldn't have imagined her getting old. Though she was such a vibrant character, that if you read the book or see the film you can still feel the shock waves people must have felt originally when she died.

Years ago in an ill-fated stint as PR bunny at the publishers, I had to take an author to review 'I Shot Andy Warhol', as he'd worked for Warhol as editor at his Interview magazine in the eighties. I was wanting to hear stories of glamour and gossip, but he was most dismissive of everything we'd been so fascinated with as teenagers. 'He was just really cold. It was just a really shallow horrible scene...'

True enough, but still somehow fascinating...

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Failing

'LOSER! You English loser... I suppose he thought it was the most grievous insult he could hurl. But such a curse doesn't really have any effect on an English person - or a European - it seems to me. We know we're all going to lose in the end so it is deprived of any force as a slur. But not in the USA. Perhaps this is the great difference between the two worlds, this concept of Loserdom. In the New World it is the ultimate mark of shame - in the Old it prompts only a wry sympathy.'

Any Human Heart, (one of my favourite books) by William Boyd

I am feeling like a bit of a loser at the moment, like I'm failing on all counts, and find this idea quite comforting*



*Spookily, this post was written before LC launched his shiny new blog - thanks for the link LC, I'm, um, touched...

We lost...

This post dedicated to the pub quiz massive. (Billy, Llewtrah, Rockmother, Violet.)

We lost, but we're still winners in my mind.

Billy, this was what the wallpaper looked like in the ladies.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Why I hate Secret Santa

I know it's not very seasonal, but I was just reminiscing about moments of acute social shame and embarrassment (as you do,) when this one popped up from where I had been desperately repressing it.

When I first started working for a fairly corporate style language school in Barcelona, it was just before Christmas and people drew names for the Secret Santa (Papa Noel in Spanish, though they didn't call it that. Maybe it was 'amigo secreto' or something.)

The school was in a very smart main street in the centre of town and had ideas above its station - it even employed marketing staff who were purely there to flog their rip-off courses to punters.

The marketing staff were Spanish and dressed immaculately, the teaching staff were poor, scruffy and English. I totally forgot about secret santa until about 2 seconds before I had to leave for the restaurant - the lovely bodega on the corner had closed and all that was open was the dodgy corner shop, with the most expensive wine at around 5 euros - even for Spain, where you can get lovely wine for a few pennies, this is pretty damn cheap. What could I do? It was that, or a prepacked tortilla.

'Never mind' I thought. 'At least its anonymous. And everyone opens their presents at the same time, who's going to know?'

But when it got to the presents stage of the evening, to my horror, it was like a spotlight was shone on the present-opener. With great ceremony, they had to go up to the top of the table and receive it out of a sack, while everyone around the table stamped and clapped and chanted 'Quien ha sido? Quien ha sido??' ('Who has been?') And despite specifying a 5 euro limit, people were getting silk ties and silver photoframes, so I felt a little one-upmanship was going on.

When the unlucky colleague who got my 5 euro paint-stripper vino tinto opened it, his face fell and the whole table went quiet for a moment. I wanted to crawl under the table, but it would have been a dead giveaway.

Call me a coward, but I did not own up to it, I could not admit 'quien ha sido '. Because after all, in the rest of the world Brits have an unfortunate reputation for being LOUSY FREELOADING CHEAPSKATE TIGHTWAD BASTARDS.

Can't think why.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

London v London

















Maybe I should toss a coin. Or throw a dart at the A-Z.

things that I find oddly attractive in a man*

one in an occasional series:

The ability to do accents - I don't know why the ability to do, say, a good Welsh accent (that is easily distinguishable from a Pakistani accent) should be attractive, but there it is.

*this was inspired by an old post of Billy's, when he had said he quite liked a work colleague, but only when she had a confused expression on her face. It made me LOL.

What tickles your fancy? Over to you...

Monday, March 19, 2007

Pub quiz - raaaaah!
















* See Me After Class pub quiz
Upstairs at The Old Queen's Head, 44 Essex Road, N1 8LN. Wednesday 21st March at 8.00 pm.

Unrequited

Calum... Calum... I just wanted to know if it was something I said?

I thought we had some rapport. You email me daily, Calum. Every day, you send me tempting pictures... and I get worked up and excited... I thought you were thinking of me, I thought we both knew what we wanted.

But I phone you, I leave messages, and you never phone me back.

So how can I buy a *$?%&!* house off you when I never get to see them?

Friday, March 16, 2007

Hot or not

Oh God.

Modern life is very complicated. Doesn't it seem like someone has invented a service for absolutely everything these days?


('We rate your photos on a 4-level scale: Below average,average, above average and excellent.'

Having your profile photo rated - yet another level of torment and anxiety to add to the fun of this dating malarkey!)

(and how does one write a description of oneself? Very tempted to write 'see blog for details.' Maybe I should get this book for some ideas - I'm liking 'I've divorced better men than you' as a stand-out headline.)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Here Comes The Sun

Sometimes (you may have noticed) I am not totally enamoured of this job, but you also get moments which more than make up for it. Like playing them The Beatles and seeing their faces totally light up.*

Hard as it is to imagine, the Beatles are entirely new to them - we are talking about people who were born in 2000, 2001, and from Bangladeshi/Somali backgrounds. I showed them the cover of Meet the Beatles and there was not the smallest flicker of recognition of these famous faces.

Imagine hearing this music for the very first time. I was grateful to have this job today, because hearing it through their ears let me hear it again for the very first time.




* Though some of the boys were with Ian Macdonald's rather harsh appraisal of one of my favourite Beatles tunes. They said it was 'consciously artless' and criticised the 'metrical irregularities of the chorus' arpeggiated triads'. (Or that it was a 'baby's song', one or the other.)

Monday, March 12, 2007

Overeducated

If I knew one thing when I left school, I knew I wanted to take photos. I went to a college in Clerkenwell that had been converted from an old Victorian prison (and used to have nightmares whilst there about being in the building & being chased down endless brick stairwells by a knife-wielding psychopath, interestingly enough).

I was so happy to get on that course, but somehow it didn't work out - on paper I was qualified to be there, but had little technical experience and felt like I was fucking everything up in the worst way.

The tutors weren't bad, but expected you to get on with it - I don't recall them doing any actual, well, teaching. And I didn't really connect with any of the other students. It got so that I was dreading going in every day, and when I finally dropped out, felt very guilty and lost.

I drifted around for a year - could kick myself when I look back and see how little I did with that 'year out'(when you get to your thirties, you long for a year out, but at this stage there's much too much to lose.)

What is interesting, since I've been uploading photos from that time, is how much fun I was having up until then with photography - they are not the world's greatest, I admit, but I was never without a camera. I took photos every day as a teenager. Visited exhibitions. Spent all my pennies on paper and films and processing. Spent weekends smuggling myself into the school darkroom.

And after I dropped out - zip, nada, nothing. There is a whole, undocumented, near-20-year era during which I never picked up a camera. It's like that time didn't happen. It's only really recently with my little digital camera that I started taking pictures again.

So my point is this - seeing as my hero is Wolfgang Tillmans, who basically started a whole career by taking photos of his friends in clubs, and now has solo exhibitions at Tate Britain and his very own gallery - is college really necessary? Does formal education destroy people's confidence and creativity? Are people better off following their own path?

(Sometimes, when the kids in my class refuse do what they're meant to, the teacher me will tell them off, but inside I'm thinking 'Good!' You need some 'fuck you' to get by in this world.)

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Wishlist meme

Books I have been longing for, for years... I don't hold with wishlists, but if ever you were to, you know, win the lottery and were feeling particularly generous towards your linkees...

Avedon, In the American West.
When it came out, we used to go every weekend and stroke the cover of this, in the old Dillons art bookshop on Long Acre in Covent Garden. I would like to get in my (imaginary) car and go and take photos of people all over the country in front of a white sheet, just like Avedon did. Was totally ecstatic when the exhibition arrived in Barcelona years later, and I got to see the pictures themselves.


Classic Cafes, by Adrian Maddox
Also a rather fine website of old-school, vintage cafes which are slowly and steadily disappearing. Like this book, which appears to be out of print now. Bugger.

A Book of Dreams by Peter Reich

I wrote about this before - the son of Wilhelm 'Orgone Energy' Reich, all about his crazy childhood with the rainmaking psychoanalyst, it went on to inspire Patti Smith's 'Birdland' and Kate Bush's ' Cloudbusting'. Very expensive and out of print.

Radiohead - Welcome to the Machine: 'Ok Computer and the Death of the Classic Album - by our very own Tim Footman. Not out of print, oh no, but easily available and what's more, out very soon...


Go to it, people...

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Jazz hands

Yes it's that time of year when we get to inflict new and cruel, humiliating scenarios on our powerless little kids - it is time for Spring Assembly. Last year, regulars may recall the resplendent easter bonnets which I forced all of them to wear, including the little boys.

This year I thought we'd up the camp quotient considerably, with a play featuring a bear that is dreaming during his hibernation - dreaming, naturally, of scenes from Cinderella (which we've been covering in Literacy), incorporating a Bollywood dance routine at the ball, a chorusline of mice and life-size tea-cups a la 'Beauty and the Beast', and ending with a spring daffodil dance to awaken the bear, all to the tune of 'Here Comes the Sun'. (I know, I know, I'm such a hippy.) The girls are going to love it. The boys are going to hate me. I'm racking my brains, but I can't shoe-horn any guns or swords into it anywhere.

It all sounds like fun and games but is immensely stressful getting them to stand up, sit down, remember lines - I turn into the worst kind of hysterical fascist-dictator director and utterances such as 'Ibrahim! Show me your jazz hands!' have not been unheard of. Give me strength...

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Hopeful

So we went to a singles night, me and Rachael (30-something, feisty good-looking journo, me, knackered-looking 30-something teacher.) Had been invited by her German make-up artist friend, so thought it might be full of arty creative types, though it was (ominously) held in a pub in Whitehall, but I can't be prejudiced against civil servants since technically, I am a civil servant. Besides, what you do is not who you are...

It was a truly hideous pub. We went downstairs where the singles evening was being held, clocked the clientele and came straight back upstairs again. The first man I beheld was representative, being
a) about 4 foot
b) wearing a shirt tucked tidily into jeans and
c) bald.
Now I do not mean to be disrespectful, as we are all deserving of love, but I did not think we would find it there.

So we ran away to the ICA bar around the corner. (It is a £2.00 entrance fee, but they do nice chips, and play good music, if you are ever in the area.)

Friday, March 02, 2007

Bastard robots


Locked out again! This is getting silly:

WARNING

This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots. You will not be able to publish your posts, but you will be able to save them as drafts. Spam blogs... can be recognised by their irrelevant, repetitive or nonsensical text.

They think my blog is spam!

*sniff*

That'll teach me to use spam post titles.