Someone asked me recently why I did this, and gave me cause to doubt (again) the wisdom of putting all your personal shit out there on the internet. It's just attention seeking egotistical bollocks. Believe me, I ask myself the same thing.
Then I find myself in a situation like now, & remember why it's a good thing sometimes. Here it is, 3.00 am. lying awake, tired tired tired, but can't sleep, having been woken up AGAIN (by the upstairs neighbours this time), they stomp in after their night out, walk across my bedroom ceiling in what sounds like lead boots, start talking at the top of their voices, bang goes the TV on. I'm too wired to concentrate on a book, nothing on TV, Radio 4 is failing to block out their noise, too late to phone or email anyone to have a moan - I know, I'll spill it all on the blog! Thank god.
Here is the state of play, for anyone who's been following the whole sorry saga: Finally, after I've threatened them with getting lawyers on them, the Housing Association creak into motion and decide to take downstairs neighbour (with the dogs, keep up now) to court and get an injunction against him to remove his dogs. (After 8 months of flannelling me and denying all knowledge, they confessed that it was in fact they themselves who had taken him to court before over noise pollution and taken away his dogs - but after a ban of two years he asked if he could keep dogs in the flat again - and they agreed to let him. !!!)
I don't have to go to court but I have to sign a witness statement. I asked if I could see a draft, which their lawyers are supposedly writing, but that was 3 weeks ago and have had nothing from them.
Meantime, I've put the flat on the market. It's not the best timing in the world, I admit, but I really, truly can't stay here.
A few people have seen the place - apparently the first people liked the flat, but not the block. Good call, I can't fault their judgement. The dogs appear to be gone, but the upstairs neighbours, who I think have recently moved in, are keeping up the proud tradition of being noisy selfish, selfish noisy cunts - why don't I go up and talk to them? To tell the truth, all the fight's gone out of me. It's been a job getting this far, let me tell you. Like Tina Turner, I don't really want to fight no more.
I was trying to turn it into a positive - maybe I could rent the place out, and go back to a house-share, I could save money and maybe even quit my job and go travelling, or retrain for something I find less morally objectionable than teaching in state schools. I don't know what to do in the meantime, keep going around and around in circles. It's amazing how sleep deprivation can fuck up logical thinking.
Be careful what you wish for, people. Good counsel welcome.
About horses
4 days ago
10 comments:
I'd say sell up, take some time to feel more like yourself, work out what you want to do and use the cash to re-train. Life's too short, and it doesn't get any longer or more wonderful just because you have a mortgage.
(Of course I would say that because I'm unlikely to buy anything, ever, but at least I do something I like, which is more important than owning something).
Now is a good time to rent - could you afford to rent a small flat by yourself, so you can keep your privacy? I think you're doing the right thing by moving - although you have the moral high ground, you can reach the point where you've actually gone off the place due to all the hassle. In that case, a new start is best all round. As to the job, maybe a private school would be better (freedom from national curriculum, standardized tests etc.)?
Thanks, ladies.
B, you're right. I am trying, but no-one's biting at the moment. Time to put the fresh coffee on and bake some bread, I think. (Owning, it turns out, not all it's cracked up to be.)
TB - that is an option most definitely - I have somewhere to go (moving in with a friend) then I'll regroup...
I agree - move 'it' out of your life if you can even if it is a temporary situation by renting out your flat short term while you make your next move. xxx
Good luck with it all, this must be so draining for you, try and keep your strength up and move out (even temporarily) as soon as possible, I don't know how you've bared it (born it?). I agree with the other comments, you have to get the good back in your life. I'm always available if you need a bit of Spanish r&r...
Oh Annie. You know - at the beginning I wanted you to get more mad - go up there and try and talk to the loud neighbors and try and work something out. But I think I now know what you mean about having no fight left. I think I have felt like that myself in the last couple years so yes -you just need to give it up now and move on. You're doing all you can. It's on the market. You have somewhere to go. It's not all that bad. You're going to be ok babes. I agree with all counsel and what Bowl said - just take the time to re-group. It's not forever and I think you will have your own nice little flat again one day. Just not in a coucil block. Lesson learned.
oh yah - and another thing - don't listen to people that tell you its bad to have a blog. I really wish I could get up the courage to do but I just don't think my life or intrests are very interesting to others (except maybe my love of Ray Mears and the skills of survival - factinating!) It's been so good for you to have this blog and look how many nice people you've met - and I have met! Judgers I say! JUDGERS!
Thanks ladies! Em, I will definitely take you up on it. Sar, you made me laugh. Judgers, indeed!
Unqualified to give counsel, but having lurked here since before you announced your purchase of your flat, I think it's disgusting that anti-social turds have been able to undermine and destroy your investment and your peace of mind.
Thanks, Ian. I've come to a new understanding of the phrase 'caveat emptor'. Would quite like to live in the middle of a very big field with no neighbours in sight.
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