There are some corkers out there, aren't there? Was listening to Sunny on the iPod yesterday (Boney M, not Dusty Springfield - yes, I know) when it struck me that this is possibly the most clunking metaphor in any song ever written in the history of the world:
"My life was torn like windblown sand
And a rock was formed when you held my hand"
(Though a close contender might be ''We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks'', from Bonnie Tyler's appalling 80s torch song 'Total Eclipse of the Heart'.
Think you've got better rubbish song lyrics? Let's hear it, then.
song lyrics
About horses
18 hours ago
16 comments:
"You're about as easy as a nuclear warrrrr..."
Yes, the Whales, eighties pop was rich in rubbish song lyrics - but come now, we can do better than that old chestnut...
How about this drivel,
'I spy tears in thier eyes
They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention
Food goes to waste !
So nice to eat, so nice to taste
Politician grannie with your high ideals
Have you no idea how the majority feels ?
So without love and a promise land
Were fools to the rules of a goverment plan
Kick out the style ! bring back the jam !'
Yeah right on, politics bad, err jam good.....
The culprits are the 80's bad barneted duo Tears for Fears and their appalling Beatles' pastiche 'Sowing the Seeds of Love.'
I should like to submit, from Maggie May vy Rod Stewart:
"You laughed at all of my jokes,
My love you didn't have to coax"
For shame.
The Curve - ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, Tears For Fears... Just who could that subtle reference to a 'politician granny' be, I wonder? They did have the worst barnets, didn't they? Though round Hoxton way these days, they are style icons.
Good work, Corin. For shame, indeed, Rod. (Though I always kind of liked Maggie May, in the sexist 70s, with her casual discarding of her younger lover, she was a sexual pioneer and proto-feminist figure...)
"My life is brilliant
My love is pure
I saw an angel
Of that I'm sure"
"I'm serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer"
And that Desree track I can't remember the lyrics to.
Ah, James "Cockney Rhyming Slang" Blunt.
And Desree - you must be thinking of the profound lyrics to 'Life'
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
'Like a tramp in the night, I was begging for you' - Sam Fox, 'Touch Me'
I sh*t you not in the slightest.
A mole
Digging in a hole
Digging up my soul now
Going down, excavation
I and I
In the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation
Elevation
Elevation
Elevation
Elevation
"...that suicide is painless..."
(Well, it depends on how you do it, doesn't it?)
"...it brings on many changes..."
(Er, yes, principally a change from being alive to being dead.)
"...and I can take or leave it if I please..."
(You make it sound like a second slice of fruit cake, or the new Scissor Sisters album. Next!)
"I'm as serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer"
It's as brilliant as it is awful.
Hi, the Moai. This line has given me more pleasure than anything else in a long time. Like a tramp in the night, indeed... You couldn't make it up.
Destructor - Presidents hang on my every word, the sun rises and sets when I say so, I am the most irresistable, powerful, god-like human being ever to have graced the planet - & I can write what I like, bwahahahahahahahaha!
Tim, principally a change from being alive to being dead... you made me laugh. Eh, Tim, I always thought that it was ironic, that song, but I bow to your superior pop knowledge...
Adrian, not just brilliantly awful but in breath-taking bad taste too. Hurrah!
"I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon,
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble,
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal".
Vanilla Ice, Ice Ice Baby.
I know it's not meant to be taken seriously but he does sing...
"Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet" and "If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram"
Señor Tronosco, it's the best use of the word 'nimble' ever heard in pop music, or maybe the only use...
Ha! He's the lyrical Jesse James...
From Monkey Panic by so-so metal band Orange Goblin (with an intro like that, you know this is going to be good):
"Don't feed the monkey, just feel the pain,
Feel the mutilation of the monkey hurricane."
Ouch!
Ouch indeed Will - nobody likes to be mutilated by the monkey hurricane
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