Rupert and Jemima have a budget of only £800,000. Yet they want a country place to bring up their kids and a pied-a-terre in town for Rupert to commute to his something-very-well paid in London. A tall order? Maybe so, but you know that Phil and Kirsty love a challenge.
Rupert: I can see myself living here. Games room with snooker table... granny flat... indoor pool, laundry room, double garage, study, 5 bedrooms, 3 receptions, ballroom with Italian marble floors - what's not to like?
Jemima: But what about the paddock for my gymkhanas? *bursts into tears*
Kirsty: Back to the drawing board, Phil.
Phil: [thinks] Posh gits... can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.
About teaching and crying
7 hours ago
12 comments:
Darling, but who are these people? Have you dreamed them up as the nasty ones in some piece of fiction you're writing or do you mean they're part of some reality TV show? Or they're hypotheticals for a reality TV show you're planning to work into a piece of fiction? I slightly can't help fancying Rupert. Sorry, I can't.
A very loud raspberry. With saliva.
I'm always tickled by those programmes that give you those top secret tips for selling your house (you know, painting the front door a better colour, changing the lights round to make a room seem larger, brewing coffee to hide the smell of damp, etc, etc). So of course, hundreds of sellers perform these stunts; and hundreds of buyers think "Oh, they've got the coffee on, the kitchen's probably damp, I saw it in that programme on Channel 5."
Ah, BiB, you have missed the delights of 'Relocation, Relocation' http://www.channel4.com/4homes/ontv/relocation/ with Phil and Kirsty. It makes me laugh that you fancy Rupert - I did make him up, but he is very typical of the annoying people who want to buy houses and have money to burn.
Arabella - quite. And finger gestures.
Tim - *tries to think about the smell of coffee/colour of the door when viewing flat. Panics*
I particularly enjoy it when the couple financing a possible 5 acre farm in Wiltshire from the sale of a one bed flat in New Cross are put off at the very last minute by the presence of a small road 1/4 mile away.
Annie – that's a perfect summary of that programme. Sadly it's beyond parody...
Sickening, isn't it?
Jemima is a real pain in the arse as well - but she's the only woman who'll tolerate Rupert's strange fetish for dressing up like a garden gnome at bedtime. In Rupert's world, she can have all the gymkhana paddocks she wants.
Yeah, I like to make up little lives for them.
Murph, I KNOW! 'I can hear the road...' yes, and the traffic noise of three chickens and the village postie on his pushbike must be intolerable...
Bowleserised, I think Kirsty might be some kind of postmodern satirist though.
Hi Natalie. You improved on it!
I just really fancy Kirsty.
There.
I said it.
Del, I seem to recall you also fancy Penelope Keith. Strict women, hey?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/nowshow.shtml Listen about five minutes in to this week's show. Truly you are the inspiration for modern British comedy. I was listening and thought, "Fuck me, they're quoting Annie's blog."
Ha! They were more funny than me though.
I liked 'Repossession Repossession Repossession'...
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