So in an effort to combat couch potato-ism, I have been swimming at the local pool. Today whilst getting changed, I had a good long hard look in the mirror in the cubicle - did you ever noticehow mirrors in the outside world are somehow much crueller and more harsh than mirrors in your own house? Maybe something to do with the fact that you are familiar with your own reflection at home. It always makes me jump when I catch my reflection unexpectedly in the outside world. Good lord, do I really look like that?
Anyway, there is no denying it, my boobs have begun the long journey south. They're alright, they serve their purpose, but they could look a bit more... happy? There is only so much magic
Princesse Tam Tam bras can achieve now without surgical help.
I've never considered it before, mainly for these reasons:
- Cost.
- I'm an utter coward, and the thought of someone slicing my baps open with a knife makes me feel all faint.
- A vague idea that they might explode at high altitude.
- An even vaguer idea that it's somehow cheating.
- (There's also the breast feeding argument, but it's looking increasingly unlikely now that I will continue the Black dynasty. Plus you know, breast-feeding is just a patriarchal conspiracy propagated by men who can't be arsed to get up in the middle of the night for bottle feeds.)
Anyway, my vanity is currently doing battle with my cowardice. It's not like anybody ever sees them but me *sniff* but
I see them, you know? That's just my confused thinking, thus far. Did you ever consider surgery? What would you do? Or maybe you have strong feelings against it. I throw it open to you, people of the internet.
24 comments:
I think you're being very silly.
You need to send detailed photos of said thrup's to all male readers of your blog and we'll try to achieve a consensus on what your next step (if any) should be.
:D
If you summon the courage and have it done because it will make you feel good, then all power to your new bouncy boobies.
My Ma did it - best thing she ever did. So if you want the name of a wizard surgeon...
And when it comes to my own, I'm booking in as soon as I've dropped a couple of sprogs. Because courage means fuck all when you've got tits that look golf balls in knee socks ;-)
ha! I knew that was coming Rad, glad you didn't let me down, dear.
Alternatively (having just done 5 minutes research into painful procedures, 12 weeks recovery time etc) I could just become enormously fat and hope my boobs would re-inflate along with the rest of me.
Sorry, Ms Hush Hush, I missed you there. Good surgeon, you say...? See, you know what I'm talking about.
i don't like fake diddies much.
Ah, apparently they would not be fake Rosie, (and so would not explode at high altitude) as it's something called mastopexy which involves hoiking up what you already have.
do it. if it will make you feel better about them do it. it's not inserting fake ones - it's just adjusting so that sounds fine to me.
I would never do it ever ever ever. I have terribly bad luck and if there was a boob-job-gone-wrong tragedy to be had you can bet I would be the star of the show. I have to be content with my used tea bag-esque spaniels ear norkage, thank God and Elvis I have bewitched my husband with some voodoo hoodoo so he loves me regardless.
Just wear a good bra to slow the rate of southward motion. You'll be fine. And do some exercises to strengthen the chest and back muscles - that seems to help :)
Tch! I dunno, you try to give someone give advice and they just throw it back in your face as if you're some kind of predictable old perv!
Everyone's keeping very quiet on their own thoughts about surgery. Am I the only one? Never crossed your mind at all...?
Hi Inwardly Confused! Yes, going under general anaesthetic when it's not strictly necessary seems a bit crazy really.
Right, Llewtrah - in fact, here is a handy site for anyone else interested:
http://www.breasttalk.co.uk/breast_exercises.asp
Rad, that site is called Breast Talk, get yourself straight over there!
It is my one true and profound ambition to one day get an entire Plastic surgery overhall. I have it all planed. First my tummy, then bum & thighs, then nose and shin etc etc. Thankfully my boobs will not bow to gravity and I may get a few more years out of them yet.
Bring on the 4 blade!
There are plenty of things about my bod that I don't like but I couldn't have plastic surgery. It scares me but also, well, they're just bits after all, and that's what the fun of fashion is there for: to create optical illusions so invasive surgery isn't necessary.
I'd rather my boobs were hoisted naturally but that's about being twenty-something and I don't want that again thank you very much.
I'm a women getting older - I don't want to need a scalpel to feel good.
Errrm...you did ask! x
I'm too much of a coward to go under the surgeon's knife. Then again, I'm in my forties so tend to take less notice of the *changes* that are occurring in my body shape. Everything is heading south, east and west at a terrifying rate and I can't keep up with it.
Thing is, my mother was only a year older than me when she had a mastectomy, so I'm just grateful to have two jugs in reasonable working order. I'm more frightened of inheriting the Big C than how saggy they are.
If I wasn't a big old coward (and a closet Puritan) I would have my jawline done, lipo on my thunder- thighs and my "apron" removed.
However, from what I've seen of you (and heard about you) you don't need plastic surgery, m'dear.
Awesome. Get those puppies inflated!
Hi Lottie - no no no, that's going too far. I'm sure you're gorgeous.
Arabella - wise words, and actually looking at some of these before & after photos on the websites, it could be a lot worse.
Betty, right, that puts it in perspective. No sense in undergoing such pain & trauma by choice hey?
Thanks Marsha! Your jaw? What would do to your jaw? On second thoughts, don't answer. I'm sure you don't need it.
LC, I have been put off by the words 'extensive scarring' on the BAAPS website. Don't want to look like the Boob of Frankenstein.
Do you think BAAPS were having a laugh when they came up with their name?
I'd have my jawline (and attendant flubber) lifted. Without the op. I fear that, in the near future, I may be able to find work as a Johnny Vegas looky-likey
If heredity is anything to go by I will be a J cup (no joke) by 50. So no, no enlargements here.
you think breastfeeding is a patriarchal conspiracy but you're considering a boob job??? think about that, just for a minute.
Pfft, not true, Marsha.
Don't do it. Having had a number of operations for actual health problems, I'm afraid I totally fail to understand why anyone would consider putting themselves through major surgery for for any appearance related issue other than major disfigurement. Every general anaesthetic you have is supposed to knock at least a year off your allotted lifespan. People regularly die under general anaesthetic. Recovery from surgery is pretty horrible too. It just isn't worth the risk. Plus, what a waste of money. Take yourself off to Rigby and Peller forthwith and spend a fraction of it on some posh underpinnings instead.
Lecture over.
yeh, what CB said. Anyway, they look fine to me.
I like to think so, Marsha. I hope they sat around sniggering childishly. I don’t believe it for a minute about you.
B – J cup? I didn’t even know they had J cups. Your cup will runneth over!
CB – I was joking (sort of) about the patriarchal conspiracy, though actually I don’t think women should be pressurised by guilt into it, as seems to be the case in the medical establishment at the moment. Look at me, I was never breast-fed and I’M TOTALLY FINE (though I do smoke like a chimney – hmm, oral fixation, paging Dr Freud!)
And women do choose to have surgery because they want it themselves, it’s way more complex than them simply being coerced by men. Though I do find it interesting from my not-very-extensive research that most of the surgeons are men, not women. Maybe that’s true of all forms of surgery though.
‘Every general anaesthetic you have is supposed to knock at least a year off your allotted lifespan.’ I just know I’m going to live an incredibly long and drawn out existence until I’m an even more miserable and cantankerous old bag (unless I’m, like, blown up on the tube or something) so this seems to be an argument for, rather than against, GSE. Still, I take your point. And thanks.
The upside is, you can now get yer Triumph Doreen in pretty colours. So maybe the post-menopausal, J-cupped me will be content.
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