What do you mean, connect your modem? My modem is fully connected.
Flashing red signal. DSL connection: idle.
What can you do on your computer when you have no broadband? Re-discover the delights of Solitaire. The Queen of Clubs is giving the Queen of Spades evils. The Jack of Diamonds is winking at me. 9 hours of Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies hold music later... I’m in the queue, then my mobile credit expires.
A charming man in Scotland with the kind of Edinburgh accent that could soothe a tiger with a toothache tells me he’s TV, not broadband, he can’t help me. A techie boy with a Scottish accent. I’d happily chat to him all day just to hear his voice, and nearly ask him out.
9 hours of Handel’s Water Music later, Ankor (?) in India, sticking closely to the script and uttering ‘Not to worry’ ten times, tells me since I changed my phone number, my broadband connection has been terminated. I will need to phone a different number to let them know my new phone number. Surely I could just email them…? Oh, but I have no broadband. Duh.
It’s fine, it’s fine, I can do without it … can’t I?
OMIGOD I CAN’T I AM AN ADDICT AND I NEED HELP
* apologies to Samuel Beckett
About Yoko Ono
2 days ago
9 comments:
More of a minesweeper man myself. I amke it my business to get the best times on any computer I sit down at.
Well, on beginner and medium anyway. Too much luck involved in expert.
Have you got Bejeweled?
How are you writing this without internets?
Billy is onto something there. Have you jacked directly into the Matrix? But your human mind can't hold the time vortex! Or something.
Emordino, I do not understand Minesweeper. You can imagine how good I am at chess.
BiB, ooh no, that sounds right up my alley though.
Billy, I have been reconnected, praise be! I had to visit internet cafes, SO nineties, my dear.
Del, implanting the internets in our heads is merely the next logical step. Did you see this here story?
You managed to get connected through Tiscali?!?
By jove, it's a miracle!
I don't know how to post links because despite being addicted to the internet I am a bit crap but anyway - paste this into your browser missus!
http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=25-tlpZ_J4M
RoMo - rah! Takes me straight back to the Friday night clubs at college...
When my connection goes down I get a weird form of cyber-claustrophobia from being trapped on a PC with no access to the outside world.
Post a Comment