Reading Mimi in New York's post Blog Wars made me think about this whole voyeuristic business. She started off fairly anonymous but isn't any longer. I find her writing infuriating at times, but always very open, articulate and compelling. ( Her straight-talking seems to attract the lunatic fringe - just take a look at her commenters.)
I admire writers who are so very open but it does make you uneasy, I've had to give up reading some people's blogs because (though I know they are voluntarily putting it out there for all to see) it feels too voyeuristic, like witnessing open heart surgery. It conflicts with what must be my indoctrinated sense of English reserve. It's a fine line to tread, to write so that people get a sense of you without giving away all your secrets.
What I wanted to ask, especially of people that have been doing this longer than me, is how do you find a balance? Did you ever post about something you later regretted? Did it change the way you wrote, or affect you in other ways? Do tell...
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15 comments:
Hmmm,
Obviously people blog for different reasons though I think at heart we all are attracted to the idea of people reading our stuff. Re my own blog I keep it fairly whimsical, maybe sometimes a bit ranty because that suits me. Mimi is the only confessional blog I know and I keep track of her stuff which can sometimes be close to the bone but that's okay because it's her blog where she writes what she likes and no-one is forced to read it. I think blogging is a form of pen palling only quicker and more risky given anyone can comment on what you've written. On ocassion I work my way through the links on people's blogs just to see what's being written and to be honest loads of it I find tedious, but hey, the written word is a ubiquitous thing. One of the strongest features of blogging is that it's tremendously democratic, ie anyone can do it and more and more people are. It seems to me that this phenomenon opens up such a variety of writing to such a varied audience and that can only be a good thing. Long may it last.
Bugger,
Just re read your questions which I drifted away from. Re the issue of balance between levels of personal honesty, bloggers can be dishonest and hide their personalities if they wish and how would we be any the wiser one way or another? I suspect that most bloggers are fairly honest in their writing and that this might sometimes lead them into trouble with their friends, especially if they give secrets away. Mind you if this happened they'd soon stop with the secrets or lose their friends just like in real life, blogging therefore is part of real life and subject to the same sensitivities.
Some time ago I've posted something about coming across stuff that is too personal.
I keep my privacy, at least most of it. Sometimes that means I won't post about something because it would be a give away regarding work, family or friends. Strangely my friends, even the ones who blog, prefer to comment my posts outside the blog. The balance? When I think a post is too personal I usually skip it, unless I feel I can be of any help and even then only when I really think that blogger is worth the involvement.
I don't think too much about it, the momment the situation happens I simply go with what I feel.
Dan, I'm probably naive but never really doubt people's honesty, I guess what I was wondering is how they choose how much to reveal.
Confessional is a good adjective, because that blank screen can seem like a confessional, but I can easily imagine hitting "publish" then wishing I hadn't later. I like Mimi's a lot, but couldn't write about some of the stuff she writes about, especially given the viciousness it seems to attract, and the fact that her folks read it. I'll stick to my safe, fluffy subjects...
Dcver "When I think a post is too personal I usually skip it" - interesting, you clearly have more will-power than me! I am struggling with this voyeurism thing...
I think people have just got to go with their instincts. I know some blogs I just can't read, but as dan says, I have exercised my democratic right to read their stuff, decide it's crap and not go back, juat as I am sure many have done with mine. I don't think there is a right way to do it.
My rule of thumb for writing is to imagine a total stranger being in the room when I'm recounting the story, almost like being at a party. That way I curb myself.
I also don't post pictures of me or my name.
Lessons learned, unfortunately.
I seem to have this built-in sense of what to reveal, and what not to reveal. It's never really posed a problem for me. Only a couple of times have I felt a twinge of regret or unease about what I've written, and in such cases I remind myself that I don't need to apologize for anything I've written unless I've hurt someone (which I'm normally careful of doing). That was simply a reflection of my psychic space on that particular day. I think I've only gone back and changed a post a couple of times (because someone else was uncomfortable with the way I had portrayed them), and once I deleted a couple of posts out of fear of recrimination.
I write under sort of an alias, and don't post a picture of myself in which you can see my face, but where I live it's pretty easy to figure out who I am. So I take that into consideration as well. And I never blog about specific jobs or my clients for the same reason.
OK I'm done. Good thought-provoking post, Annie.
Firstly, hello Housse and Ghoghghoti - my, that's some name, would you be offended if I called you G?
Housse, I agree with you, there's no right way to do it. I don't think that it's necessarily crap if people spill their guts - I just feel a bit guilty reading it, whether I know them or not.
Greavsie "Lessons learned, unfortunately" Very, very intrigued. But won't press for details...
G, don't be shy, you're as anonymous as you want to be. Just don't tell everyone like I did - not because they'll care, but because they won't read it, which is worse ;-)
Alda, you sound like you've found a balance. I find it fascinating, how some manage to write about stuff that's out there in the world, as though they are the voice of God, totally impartial, but you don't get any sense of them at all. It just makes you think about the reasons different people have for doing this.
Probably it's too early in my little corner of the internet to be having an existential crisis... ;-)
Balance?
I just write. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it bad. I have no idea what I'm doing and am constantly surprised people read my site.
Adrian, don't believe you.
Seriously.
Mike [Troubled Diva] did a presentation about blogging, then posted it...I don't know how to it from his archives otherwise I'd put the link here.
Ditto, Dan's 2nd comment.
I tend to sift through the day to day events, think about them before I write.
My feelings and thoughts are there, but subtle [I hope]. I tend to like when people to come to their own conclusions [with a little nudge from me].
Adrian, you're saying you never think about what you write? You never think about who's reading it, or how people will read it? Hmmmmm....
I read that, GG, it was a great post, he's so articulate. Your writing is subtle, one of the many things I like about it ;-)
Occasionally I write something so that someone in particular will read it, and I can communicate something to them less obviously.
But that's not so much blogging as being a coward.
Or a prevaricator, Adrian.
Luke, ha! Called my bluff.
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