What do you do when you are broke, when the cash machine has just flashed up the dreaded "insufficient funds" message when you are barely 2 weeks into the month?
Do you
a) tighten your belt, stay in and watch telly, live on toast for the next month? or
b) go to the most expensive pub in posh West London and order mussels (gritty) a bottle of white and 3 glasses of prosecco (sparkly)?
If you're an idiot (ie, me) the answer is clearly b.
Still, remember how I was saying that I wanted to travel? If I dig myself any deeper into the Sandpit of Debt I will come out in Australia, which will kill 2 birds with one stone.
So, suggestions for picking up extra coinage will be mighty welcome. (At the moment I'm thinking part-time dominatrix. I can handle the idea of standing over someone with a whip, getting them to clean my kitchen floor. And it's cash in hand, tax-free. )
About teaching and crying
1 day ago
22 comments:
The TA?
I am touched by this suggestion US, which implies that I'm not a lardy couch potato and may be capable of yomping up mountains whilst carrying a large rucksack. So touched that I actually was looking at their website before I imagined the insane laughter of people who know me if I told them I was hoping to join the army.
Babe, the answer is clearly and always certainly B.
So which pub was it?
I was going to suggest eBaying, (well I had too right) but I think go with the dominatrix. You had me with the whip but last me with cleaning the kitchen. I can't even get round to cleaning my own flat.
Adrian, it was The Cow in Westbourne Park, you can't throw a stick in there without hitting a trustafarian. And it's very tempting to throw a stick at them. Bastards.
*crosses floor-cleaning off rate-card, pencils in maid services*
What is a trustafarian?
Hang on a sec here, who is doing the maids services ....?
Guess if it were me the answer would be B. Because: I am an optimist; if things were that bad I could use some comfort; just in case things wouldn't start betting on tracks fast enough I would better do one last extravaganza while I still could.
Then again I guess I am no role model...
You've never heard of trustafarians? Living in London, I bet you've met a few though. They are trust fund kids who like to slum it and pretend they are poor or streetwise, maybe sporting dreadlocks (hence the conflation of trust fund/rastafarian). Especially to be found in Notting Hill.
I'm open to negotiation as to who does the maid services...
Hey Dcver, we crossed in the comments. You're a man after my own heart. Tomorrow begins the toast diet.
Ah right. I guess I just filter them out. But that does explain a lot about Nott Hill.
Ok then, who is the dominatrix. I'm getting all confused about who is getting paid what, and I have a sneaking suspicion I'm accidentally going to agree to pay you to be your maid.
Get some advertising going on yr lovely blog. You could probably make enough to pay for one bubble of the prosecco.
I think you should apply to be on Blue Peter.
You'd fit in right away, even with the part-time Dominatrix bit being kept under wraps.
Sorry, got in a bit late with this comment, but Ha Ha Ha (and more insane laughther)- the army!!! I´ve seen you in the countryside with a tent and a rucksack and it would be a fierce contest to know which one of us would be more useless!!! Remember Sprinkling Tarn?
Definately would have gone for Option B too Annie - sigh...
You're right to be wary Adrian, us dominatrices are cunning like that.
Tim, you mean, sell out? Hmm...where do I sign? (Thanks by the way - your blog is lovely too.)
Growing Up, it's reassuring that my commenters are such an extravagant bunch.
Greavsie, is it still going? "Today, viewers, I'm going to show you how to make your own dungeon with just some black bin-liners and sticky-back plastic."
Em, I was waiting for that, it was mostly you I was thinking of. I'll never forget Sprinkling Tarn. And where were you...? Slacking off back in Finchley, as I recall, missing your chance to risk hypothermia.
You could go around all the phone boxes and see if anyone has forgot to take their change.
Oh, but. There are hardly any phone boxes left.
*returns to racking brain*
Have a look see if AQA are hiring again? That way you could spending free time answering questions for 30p a pop. My lovely girlfriend is a part time AQA researcher and she's earns a fair amount of extra beer tokens.
Alda, damn those mobile phones...
Ian, thank you for your suggestion WHICH WAS THE ONLY SENSIBLE ONE (apart from US's which is just not feasible).
Like your lovely girlfriend I joined AQA (just recently) but unlike your lovely girlfriend have not earned many beer tokens. I seem to get a lot of questions on football,rugby and astronomy for some reason, which you might have guessed are not really my areas of expertise.
I admit it, my slacking career started very early - Finchley or half way up a mountain with inadequate equipment in a gale??? Hmmm - what a choice!!!!!
You saying the dominatrix suggestion wasn't sensible? Hang on wasn't that your suggestion?
Yes, you were wise beyond your years Emma.
Yes, but it was a rubbish suggestion. I look to you all for the good ideas.
Um, can I suggest dominatrix?
I reckon do what so many penniless (and some not-so penniless) bloggers have done and stick a big 'donate' button on your homepage. Can't hurt!
Either that or the dominatrix thing. :-)
Good idea, Adrian!
Matt, my other services may have to be paid for but would never solicit on my blog! Once you start getting paid it means you're a pro, I'd like to hang onto my amateur status ;-)
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