Friday, November 24, 2006

Mail order

Valyusha, your eloquent email appeal touched my heart. How I wish I could make you happy. Alas, you're barking up the wrong tree.

Hello, my Friend!

I miss love in my life and I desire to find it!

Hello, gentleman. I am a single girl, nice, attractive, intelligent, active and easy-going, but lonely... I am looking for a responsible man, the one who can show me wisdom, love and attention he has. I love life and I am sure I can make my only man happy. If you want to learn me better, you can find me here.

If you write to me, I will gladly answer all your questions as something inside says to me that something big and beautiful can grow between us...

Looking forward to get a letter from you!

Valyusha


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well at least it's an improvement on the crap I get.

Penis enlargement, Viagra, send me your bank details and I'll send you a few million in loose change, by the way your bank wants you to update your security details by giving them to me instead, and of course fancy a virus -go on click here!

You should feel honoured, she obviously thinks you are a man of good standing as opposed to the usual dirty bugger. Send her a reply - what's the betting she's bisexual and secretly been looking for her ideal woman. You can't lose.......sigh.

Anonymous said...

I definitely get the bestest spams though. Seriously.

Rad said...

exceedinglydodgy.com? :D

Señor Tronosco said...

I'm totally irresponsible and "Something big and beautiful", thats a bit presumptuous. No not for me.

I'll stick to hanging around bars and winking at Senoritas...ho hum!

Annie said...

Tattieheid, I would but I think she's just a cunning invention who will plant something nasty on my hard drive. Don't be jealous of my spam - if you like I'll forward it to you!

Matt, yes, yes, you do, Hope you haven't deleted your thesis-length rant, I was saving it for the weekend.

Rad, yes. I was thinking about taking it as a domain name, what do you reckon?

Señor T - you mean you don't want to learn Valyusha better?

Anonymous said...

Annie, no I haven't deleted that exceedingly long bit of spam commentage, I think there's still a link to it in the sidebar actually. You might need the whole weekend to read it too. :-)

Rad said...

Annie, if you do make it a domain you should make it a shop. Just to see if anyone is foolhardy enough to buy from exceedinglydodgy.com.

Anonymous said...

I have a policy on not dating girls who's name I can't pronounce.

Or who spams me.

Anonymous said...

Magnificent! A (female) friend of mine got the following e-mail the other day. Perhaps you could swap...

Subject: I am looking for serious relations, are you?, Polina

Hello!

I am Polina. I am a vivid and emotional person who doesn't like lies.

I love people and I appreciate when they are sincere with me because I am a sincere person too. I like traveling, enjoy the nature and the life. As every woman I am mysterious and like tender flower I blossom under the rays of love.

I like flowers, animals, I adore to spend the time at the seaside. I like cooking when I have an inspiration. I adore when people around me smile and enjoy their own and their friends' success. I want to love my only man till the end of time.

I have some questions for you if you want to get to know me closer:

1/ Are you interested in serious relations with Russian woman?

2/ Are you planning to visit Russia?

3/ Would you like to correspond or to talk by phone?

4/ Why are you interested in Russian lady?

5/ Have you ever been to Russia?

6/ What is important for you in relations and am I right for you?

I will be waiting for your reply to ...

Do you have a hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Do you have a questions to me? i am waiting for your message soon. best wishes Polina

Annie, I think she could be the one for you!

Annie said...

Tee hee! LOL! You're right - I too enjoy the nature and the life, and blossoming like a tender flower under the rays of the sun.

Awww - this is quite a cute one.