We were brought up to kiss hello and goodbye. All my friends do it. Saying goodbye in a group can take an age. When we were teenagers, for a daring moment, even our male friends kissed each other goodbye. Then I went to live in Spain, where everyone kisses hello and goodbye, twice, one on each cheek. I believe in some countries they even do it three times, which is pushing it.
So now you know the background. Once upon a time we went out to see Lee Perry and the Upsetters at the Town and Country Club. My friend Donna (Guyanese-English) her friend Arun (Dutch-Indian-English) and his mate (Indian-English.) We went to the pub first and drank a lot, then went to the gig.
When it finished, I said goodbye to Donna (kiss) Arun (kiss) and went to kiss his friend goodbye, when he turned his face and spat at me "I don't do that!"
If he'd have taken out a knife and stabbed me it couldn't have hurt more. Now, I'm not insensitive. There were Muslim boys on the course, who wore traditional dress, prayed, ate only halal food, didn't touch alcohol, and wouldn't touch a girl's hand when we had to be in a circle during PE training sessions. I would respect anybody's beliefs, and I knew where I stood with them.
But this boy had been buying me drinks all evening, and had been talking about smoking weed and doing charlie, so it can't have been so much on religious grounds. What kind of religion allows you to cane it, but bans a kiss on the cheek? He might as well have said, Get away from me, you dirty white whore! He made me feel ashamed of myself, but really the problem was his. I guess this gave me an insight on what it's like to be on the receiving end of racism (sexism I'm more used to). There was a life lesson somewhere in this experience, I'm just not sure what it is.
Anyway dear reader, if we ever meet, give me due warning and I won't kiss you.
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6 comments:
Portugal. Usually guys don't kiss each others, other than that everybody kisses everybody.
Have no fear, you're more than welcome to plant a big sloppy one one me.
I am terrified by social kissing, because I always do it wrong. Is it the one kiss on the cheek, the two kiss, the air-kiss. It makes me nervous, just thinking about it.
I'm not a fan of social kissing, either, but I do like big, warm hugs!
Annie, it's not about you being white, it's about you being woman. We have 'em here too.
But y'know, it's a good thing they don't want to kiss or shake our hands, because goodness knows what their hygiene practises are, in the privacy of their bathrooms. [That's what I say, haha]. Trust me, you don't want to kiss or shake their hands...ewwww...
You have a Guyanese friend? Really?
Thanks all, preferences noted...
GG, I think you are right, and that's a good way to look at it. We women are evil you know, and not to be trusted..
I have lost touch with my Guyanese friend sadly. Her dad is from Guyana, he came over here in the fifties to be a teacher. She hasn't visited yet, but used to make me laugh with stories about her mad aunties here and what she called the Guyanese mafia - nothing sinister, just the big extended families all fix each other up with jobs, match-making, etc...
I also used to tease her because she hated spicy food.
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