I can't do this anymore! Every morning I wake up and it's the same! I go out and buy the paper and I circle them all and I phone them, only to discover they've been taken by a bunch of fucking PSYCHIC HOUSEHUNTERS!
This is Daisy in the first episode of Spaced. Except for the fact that I'm looking on PrimeLocation and HotProperties, I know just how she feels...
The prices are falling. It's a buyer's market, they tell you. There must be loads out there... It's a good time to be a first time buyer...
It's all a dirty lie, is what it is. Propaganda. It's NOT easier and more affordable for first time buyers, especially in London Town. It's harder. I will tell you by what sign I know this - I'm getting LESS calls from agents with properties, less emails from the property list websites for relevant properties than I was last year. But I tell you something, I refuse to move to Barking.
(Probably preaching to the converted but Spaced is what TV was invented for... if you haven't seen it, it's on YouTube and also more legitimately on More4.)
PS: loving the work of the Space Hijackers on the topic of greedy developers in East London, by the way - thanks to DH for the tip.
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15 comments:
You must move to Barking, and do battle against the Bnp (who are now, I've decided, an acronym rather than an abbreviation, and sound like Inspector Clouseau complaining about a blow to the head).
Imagine you're your own grandparents, and they're Mosley, but not so nicely dressed.
"Spaced is what TV was invented for".
Oh yes. But then I would say that, wouldn't I?
You never know, you might get the house with the Billy Bragg blue plaque.
We're in the second cheapest London Borough and it's too bloody dear here for first time buyers.
Move to Dagenham then. Or Rainham. Or even glorious glorious Romfoooooord!
"Bitter, Mike?"
"No, are you?"
"Would you like a pint of bitter, Mike?"
Good luck with the househunting. I'm resigned to spending the rest of my adult life in my basement studio...
This is (mainly) why I moved to Cornwall. I'd been waiting seven years to be able to afford a flat in London, and I never could.
Don't fret, it worked out for Daisy - you'll have your very own Tim Colin & Marsha in no time; dab of Rioja, anyone?
"The fruit of my loins has fucked off to topshop with the housekeeping."
Spaced is probably my all-time favourite tellybox programme. Just because of the endlessly brilliant quotes and silly sense of humour.
Anyway. I am no nearer being able to afford a shoe box in London than I am to living on Pluto, so you really are not alone. Unless Richard Branson dies and decides he wants to leave me enough for a sizeable deposit.
I don't know why he would. I've not met him. Still.
Tim, much as I'd like to carry on the grandparent's good fight, Barking is a sacrifice too far.
Marsha, I applaud your good taste, and your blog name, one of my favouritest lines.
Geoff, first time buyers are rarer than the unicorn.
Rad - I think not.
Del - teehee! My favourite bit is 'I'm Andy MacNab, I'm Andy MacNab, I'm Andie MacDowell...'
Hey - let's start a COMMUNE!
Patroclus, I won't tell Mr BC you said that. If things continue like this, I may be joining you shortly.
Hi Laura - we already have a Tim, and a Marsha, we just need a Colin. Ah, Colin...
Boz - I have that fantasy too!! Though for some reason it's about Elton John rather than Richard Branson. Why not join our commune?
Can I join your commune? As long as it doesn't look like Daisy's squat. Thank you for reminding me to watch an episode of Spaced, which our Marsha introduced me to (I used to just assume that was blogging Marsha's name). Fucking brilliant, isn't it?
I would say move to Berlin, but it's such a wrench, and a new language is a pain. My sympathies on the impossibilities of London in the meantime.
Course you can. (I did seriously look into the idea but they seem to have disappeared, or only be in Wales.) The thought does keep crossing my mind to move abroad again, but then I'd be back to square one where I was 5 years ago.
In our house the most innocuos comment can be the cue for a Spaced quote fest, e.g.
Me: (to the kids) Are you ready?
Kid no. 1: I was BORN ready, Timmy
Kid no. 2: Yeah, but are you ready NOW?
Kid no. 1: Errr...yeah.
No wonder it takes us so long to get out the house.
How funny our house has been up for sale in Barking since last August, nobody wants to live here any longer, least of all myself! It's become a real ghetto with tall-rise council estates cropping up in literally every other street. Not to mention the old town having disappeared to allow for more mass housing for illegal immigrants (as opposed to legal ones) and pound shops and chicken shops. That's about sums up Barking for you as it is today.
Good Luck with the house-hunt, at least you know what you're about. I need to move but don't stand a chance but to end up in a homeless shelter sometime soon.
Vuvla: Oh Brian, you came.
Brian: Er. No, I just spilt my drink.
Makes me laugh til milk comes out of my nose. I'm up for the commune idea. Let's by up some dilapidated old country house in the green belt and create our own cult.
Buy, obviously. Not by. I've got an English degree, y'know. I think I'm using the certificate as a coaster.
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