Five snacks I’d enjoy in a perfect, non-weight gaining world
Hula hoops/pretzels/rice crackers/M&S seasalt and black pepper crisps/salt and shake crisps
Mmm, salt...
Five snacks I enjoy in the real world
See above
Five things I’d do if I were a billionaire:
(freak out and cry. Too much money to cope with. Too much responsibility, even in a fantasy. Let’s pretend it said millionaire:)
1.) Pay off all my friend’s debts and buy them all houses.
2.) Buy the derelict building in Chisenhale Road and turn it into a arty community centre type place with a café.3.) Go away and see all the places I want to & can’t afford (Tokyo, Kerala, San Francisco, etc etc etc.)
4.) Get a big fuck-off SLR and take photos to my heart’s content.
5.) Turn Kenwood House into Chateau Slaminsky. Okay, maybe I could cope with the billions after all.
Five jobs I’ve had
Usherette – no uniform sadly, though I did get a torch
Careworker – old people + incontinence + alzheimers = not the job for me
Editorial Assistant – they sent me to flog their dodgy Mind Body and Spirit books at the Mind Body and Spirit Festival once. As I was what you might call a bit sceptical, I spent the whole time chanting ‘fuckoff fuckoff fuckoff’ at customers in my head to see if their supernatural, psychic skill would detect my aggressive, sceptical aura. It didn’t.
Book buyer – it was a surprisingly blokey atmosphere in the buying office. I suspect they were compensating for the fact that sitting at a desk buying books all day is not the most macho of professions.
Teacher of English as a Foreign Language – Lots of lovely students all the time, fascinating talking to them, but 7 hours of conversation in a row took its toll. I became notorious for trying to cut the hour short. I think my record was 25 mins.
"Well done! You’ve covered the work in less than half the time. Kthanxbye!"
Five places I have lived
Norwich
Streatham
Hampstead Garden Suburb
Barcelona
Hackney
What was I doing 10 years ago?
Was working in a bookshop in Holborn.
It was a chain of bookshops, ours was the neglected branch of the chain, they didn’t even bother opening on weekends, with not much passing trade, and consequently employed a random assortment of waifs and strays who’d been taken in more or less out of charity. It was never very busy. Once we had a shoplifter and that caused maximum excitement. Once they evacuated the whole street because of a suspected bomb and it was the most fun we'd ever had.
I remember working in the basement (music books, art and reference) feeling calm and peaceful like I was a fish floating in a goldfish bowl, and thinking to myself ‘Well this is all very nice but I MUST GET OUT OF HERE OR NOTHING WILL CHANGE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE’. Plus it was minimum wage.
They were very nice there though. They bought me a Walrus beanie baby
and Courtney Love's biography (that I used to sneak reads of) when I left.Your turn. Take it and run with it, my little blog friends.
10 comments:
the walrus is darling
Didn't know you'd lived in Norwich. (Well, or lots of the other things either.)
I like the fact that the Beanie Babies make animals cuddly that you wouldn't really think of as cuddly, Tara.
BiB, oh yes, for four years. It's A Fine City...
Oddly enough my latest post was about Courtney Love and one of my old jobs. But I shall steal this for mine this evening. Huzzah.
Whereabouts in Barcelona?
I have cousins in Horta & La Verneda (sorry, I don't know the equivalent Catalan names - Franco had the right idea by banning all these useless lingos [ducks for cover as a Basque bomb whizzes past]. Although it's interesting to note that Manuel Fraga accepted all these Spanish languages when he was the leader of the Partido Popular).
St Reatham? People tell me that the Bedford Hill area has gone to pot ever since they moved the prostitutes on.
after I read this I went out and bought salt and shake crisps & hula hoops. now I feel sicky.. boo.
Istvanski, I lived in Gracia, which was brillant. It's funny, I never heard Basque spoken in San Sebastian (I wanted to, as I've never heard it) and the street signs were all in Spanish - Catalans seem more militant about keeping their own language alive.
We lived near the red light district in St Reatham and it was quite scary sometimes - we got used to being beeped, kerb-crawled and followed home.
Sar, haha! Sorry my love. I was quite excited when they brought out salt & shake again.
I still don't understand Salt N Shake crisps. Surely you just end up with about 3 REALLY SALTY crisps and a load of bland ones?
Think I might yoink this meme too, ta.
You're welcome, Stevious. I think that's the appeal of them - frustration and a determination to make it work this time...
Wow. So salt n shake crisps are like a relationship with a dangerous outsider.
Or so TV has lead me to believe.
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