With some reluctance I got a new TV (I'd rather buy something FUN like a camera) but the current one will soon be a redundant empty box fit to be on display as a relic in the V&A.
At the moment TV viewing is limited to the 4 terrestrial channels - good lord, they are appalling. What do you watch on them, dear reader?
Anyway, it is with shame that I confess I am hooked on Coronation Street. I hate HATE soaps, but it just has something about it, a certain feel-good factor where most other soaps have a definite feel-bad factor. It has gays. (And this character, I don't know who she is but I like her a lot, and she's far too good for Steve Macdonald.) Plus, it's an insight into the Northerner.
Years ago, we had some American friends come to stay. They sat in front of Eastenders and goggled at the cardboard, wobbly sets and dire acting. After a few moments, one of them remarked, as if in revelation, 'They're not pretty.' Hurrah for our ugly, non-glossy soap actors! Though I did see someone almost quite good-looking on Corrie recently.
For those who don't watch them, here is a quick guide to the Things People Say On Soaps:
Coronation Street
Give over! Whippet. Emily Bishop.
Eastenders
You ain't my dad/He ain't my brother/That ain't my baby! Muppet.
Emmerdale
Oo-ar. Patsy Kensit.
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2 days ago
12 comments:
Corrie's going through a rough patch with that awful Auntie Pam/Tyrone/Molly story and the annoying new Shameless-style family.
Becky's great, though.
Are Terry Duckworth and Kevin what's-his-face still in Corrie? I think I fancied them both at some point. Though not as much as Grant Mitchell. Or Sid/Syd from Knots Landing.
I watch Al Jazeera and the BBC news channels. And, when I have the good fortune to catch it, Wife Swap. I draw the line at women in frilly dresses singing German folk music to the backdrop of mountains and valleys.
Ha, ha! You forgot:
Coronation Street: I'll have the hotpot, Betty.
Eastenders: Leave it! It's family, innit
Emmerdale: Is that a plane I can....? KERBOOM!
Or:
Coronation Street: Pint of the usual.
Eastenders: Pint of the usual.
Emmerdale: Pint of the usual.
Like you, I think Becky is a great character, but, as Geoff said, the new family are pretty awful and the combination of Auntie Pam's trench coat, Nolan Sisters' hairdo and enormous beige wet look plastic shopping bag sends me into a fit of depression whenever she walks on set.
Also on Corrie ... "A packet of my cigars". Mike Baldwin is sadly missed.
Charlie Brooker. Newsnight Review. The Culture Show.
South Park. Futurama. Simpsons.
If it isn't highbrow culture noodling or animated filth, I don't want to know.
Interesting how your American friends' complaint about British soaps was that the characters are "not pretty", whereas my main complaint against American soaps would be that the characters are "too pretty to be believable".
The good thing about British soaps is that the people in them (but maybe not the storylines) are normal.
They don't say oo-ar in Emmerdale. They say t'. As in: "T'casting director's given t'role to another actress who was a bit hot about 20 years ago. By 'eck, 'appen as like it's that Amanda Donohoe this time."
Oo-ar is The Archers darling, and only the old, poor characters.
Busted, Tim. Did you guess I don't watch Emmerdale? (or have a very good grasp of geography?) They may have made it sexy with Patsy and Amanda and karaoke & pole-dancing in the Woolpack, but my nana used to watch it & the theme tune is the soundtrack to being bored round my nana's house.
Everyone else - I'm not ignoring your comments, I'm just brain-dead as it's now 4.00 am and have been barked at for the last 2 hours. Have to get up at 6.00, hurrah.
Oh bad luck. Do they just bark when he's out (as the people-on-the-ground-floor-here's dogs do) or does he sit/sleep through the barking too? Maybe you could get him addicted to some drug or other so that he has to take up crime to feed his habit and then he'll get nicked (as they might say on Eastenders. Or The Bill) and go dairn (as they might say on...) and his dogs would bark elsewhere. Or would that be unethical?
There is a fifth terrestial channel. They have Neighbours on there.
BiB, I think it's the first one, but can't be sure. I'm willing to try anything at this point as I think I am going mad and going through the proper channels is like banging your head against a brick wall.
Billy, now why did I forget about Channel 5 (and Neighbours)?
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