Matt

I had a wicked crush on Matt. He was a public school boy, when we started hanging around with them aged about 15 all they seemed to have in common was a massive self-confidence, not to say arrogance, which could be attractive or obnoxious depending on how charming they were. It helped that he had the same killer cheekbones and icy blue eyes as that bloke out of Bauhaus.
'He's a bit pretentious' said Janine, who introduced us.
'Yes' I agreed.
'But kind of sexy.'
'Definitely.'

He wanted to get into film school and had begged borrowed or stolen a little Arriflex camera from the local audiovisual shop and was making short films, being writer, producer, director and cameraman. He'd heard I was interested in film-making and asked if I wanted to be the focus puller (yes yes stop sniggering at the back.) Hell, yes. We met up in St Paul's one Sunday with Janine and David, our stars, and filmed Dave chasing Janine in psycho-killer fashion all around the quiet City. It was looking good, kind of Hitchcock meets The Third Man meets Benny Hill, even if none of us could think of a decent ending.

I guess there's no moral to this story, or any point at all, just that it was a premiere moment in my adolescence - getting to hang out with someone I fancied a lot, doing something I was passionately interested in at the time. I wish I'd had a bit more of their arrogance, looking back he was clearly interested - did he desperately need someone to pull his focus? - but I wondered then why someone older, so cool and so good-looking would be bothering with me. It was a life lesson from which I took 3 things

• - no one ever minds if you fancy them.
• - you should just give it a whirl. They can only reject you.
  
• - 'I can make you famous, baby' is usually a come-on
  

He started going out with a beautiful exotic older Swedish girl who played guitar in a riot grrl band shortly after, who probably had no problems with self-esteem.