I will pay you, yes I will, to do the pre-date emailing flirty business required to get an actual date out of the online dating, for me. Does anyone actually enjoy this bit of it? (And if so, I'll sub-contract.)
(Finding it especially difficult as I can't implement Tim's useful suggestion of 'getting my baps out' in the photo, because they inhumanely block photos until you've exchanged emails.)
I hate it.
So boring.
Can't be arsed.
It is not fun. It is like trying to make polite conversation with other people's parents. (Last one I found myself typing, in classic hairdresser stylee, 'Where did you last go on holiday?' On this evidence I wouldn't want to date me either. )
In this service culture, there must surely be someone somewhere you can pay to do it for you?
About teaching and crying
1 day ago
16 comments:
show us yer baps and I'll have a think about it.
Tsk, you drive a hard bargain. Okay, here they are...
Can't LC help you out? He seems to purport to be some sort of uber-guru on the subject!
LC is keeping quiet (for a change.) But I think I have his technique down - insult the opposite sex, and they will FLOCK to you!
I'd offer advice but most of it would be along the lines of "Don't listen to me!"
I also won't offer my services for flirty email writing as I'm a bit (read, a lot) out of practice.
Also, I'd get you banned.
It's bread... Isn't it?
Not bread - baps
made of bread!
Damn you Slammers! ;)
hmm i quite like that bit of it all....and it seems all the more fun now i'm not single and can't do it!
Send them an email about how silly it all is with stereotypical questions. The last one should be "are you a psychopath?"
They'll either get you and your sense of humour or they won't. Sheep/goats = sorted.
I can assure you that I don't purport to be any sort of guru about anything, and members of the opposite sex have, sadly, never flocked to me, regardless of whether I insult them or not.
When I did online dating I found you had to be quite industrious about it all - unless you put the effort in then you can't really complain about not getting the result you want. I know it completely sucks all the romance out of things, but that's the modern life for you.
To be honest, from a male perspective most of the guys are probably only want to know whether you're physically attractive and whether you're sane/normal.* After that it just comes down to chemistry, which can only be ascertained on a date. They almost certainly don't give a crap about where you went on holiday, what book you read last or any of that stuff. As if any of that stuff is *really* an indicator of romantic compatability...
*Inasmuch as women could ever be described as sane or normal. Mad as cheese, the lot of you.
Hey, Pink Jellybaby. You're hired.
(Great name, by the way.)
Bowleserised - I like your thinking. This is a good suggestion.
LC, I know, only joshing. I was thinking more about your blog (- & attracting readers just by what you write is kind of similar to online dating.) ...whether you're physically attractive and whether you're sane/normal – yup, same for women. (Though most women, myself included, are also absurdly choosy, and can be turned off by something as shallow and petty as the wrong colour socks.)
The fatal flaw in this dating site is that YOU CAN’T SEE THE PHOTOS until you’ve ‘released’ them, which is very principled and everything, but against human nature.
Ooo erm, i'm not sure you'd want to leave your dating fate in my hands...what if it all went terribly wrong?!
The Dating Agency Blues. Jude Simpson.
Oh well my lovelife was a mess, I felt short changed by fate
so I thought I’d give her a hand
so I went on line and saw it - findtheone.com
I answered a few simple questions, loaded my photo, I was on.
And soon the offers flooded in, I thought I’d got it made
until I went on my first round of dates.
That’s when I realised dating doesn’t come with a guarantee.
Well, it’s true there are plenty of fish, but they’re the kind you wanna throw back in the sea
and so I find myself in this catch 22 situation
I’m dating the men but I’m courting frustration
Because they all look like snails, and have less conversation
It’s not the way I would choose.
I used to think I was potentially catching
but now it turns out that there’s nobody matching
I counted my chickens but hey, they ain’t hatching.
I’ve got the Dating Agency Blues
I don’t like the rules and the boys are all cheating
His photo looks just like Brad Pitt but when you meet ‘im
He’s about as sexy as beige flannel sheeting.
Oh there’s no happy news.
My lips are red and raw but it’s not what you’d call sport
The only action they get is making too much small talk
I think I’ll just go and sit under the Boardwalk
with my Dating Agency Blues
Well we’re all beggars when we wanna be choosers
Paying through the nose just to meet other losers
It’s hard to endure but I can’t find a cure for these Dating Agency Blues.
The lady in charge is an optimist called Shauna
She’s been dating 20 years now, yet she’s getting no forlorner
She still thinks Mr Right is probably just around the corner.
She won’t be disabused
It’s not the kind of business that you’d want to be employed in.
Matching a girl with a guy you know she won’t be overjoyed in.
I’m meeting the kind of guy I’ve spent my whole life avoiding…..
I’ve got the
Dating Agency (Baby it’s so plain to see)
Dating Agency (Charging an inflated fee)
Dating Agency (Won’t somebody pray for me)
I’ve got the Dating Agency Blues.
They almost certainly don't give a crap about where you went on holiday, what book you read last or any of that stuff.
Hmmm. Depends really. I've fallen for girls for quite the most ridiculous reasons. Like the fact that they like some obscure punk record. Or the fact that they were wearing a bracelet that referred to a weird movie I loved. But then I am weird.
oooh, like a Roxanne for 2007. sorry, i'm a bit slow off the mark and only reading this post now, but dying to know how you're getting on with it.
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