East Ham

is a little bit David Lynch. Home to the world's ugliest double glazing, and the cheapest shoe shops in East London. And bilingual ice cream vans which segue seamlessly from Punjabi MC into your more traditional Greensleeves theme. But I really really wish I could have shown you the identical twins I saw on the bus today, in their sixties, both with teased blond beehive hair, wearing matching frosted pink lipstick and baby blue crimplene suits. You couldn't make it up. I wish I could show you but I didn't have the guts to take a photo as they were two inches away and didn't want to treat them like animals in a zoo, though they were a wonder to behold.