Pros & cons of hitchhiking

More memory lane.

We had a brief craze for hitch-hiking (maybe influenced by the Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, and Roger Waters' angst-fest, The Pros and Cons of Hitch-Hiking -check out the 'tasteful' album cover.)

But for some reason we only ever went to Wales. Apart from its outstanding natural beauty, and its rumoured -to-be-easily-available-magic-mushrooms, I think it was mostly because it was the only place we knew how to get onto the start of the motorway.)

So every weekend or so saw us standing forlornly by the roadside in West London, thumbs aloft, on our way to a damp and chilly weekend of getting rained on/getting stoned/getting rained on intermittently.

We used to pair up & have races to see who could get there first. I was with Peter and hid him behind a tree once or twice to fool the punters(motorists thinking; 2 girls - good; girl & boy - dubious.) We used to while away the hours by scribbling childish made-up tour graffitti on any available surfaces to take the piss out of the Goths' ardent supporters & their tour graffitti 'The Mission 87' 'Sisters of Mercy 87' - Elkie Brooks Live '87 was one I can recall.

One time Peter and I got a lift with a couple of long distance lorry drivers on the way back to London. They seemed mightily amused by the pair of us.
'So what are you, students?'
We admitted shamefacedly that we were. 'So what do you study?'
'History of ArtEnglish andSociology' I muttered very quickly.
'Ology!' they both crowed. 'It 'ad to be an 'ology.'
The driver wound down the window and shouted abuse at any passing women drivers he felt were driving too slowly.
'Look at her, driving down the central lane, endangering life and limb. You study sociology, what makes her do that?'
'Um' I said, put under pressure. 'Well, I guess you could say it's deviant behaviour...'
He loved this. 'Oy! You! You fackin' DEVIANT!' I groaned inwardly, clearly I'd provided him with a new term of abuse for luckless woman motorists.

The lorry was carrying steel girders.
'We have to make sure they're tied up right - if we had to stop suddenly, they'd smash through the back of the cab and slice your heads right off...'
'Ow!' I said.
'Well, cos if they're not tied up, they could smash through the back of the cab and cut your heads off...'
'No, I meant ow,ow, as in ouch, that would hurt.'

They'd been driving all night, and had probably picked us up to help keep them awake. It wasn't a bad job, but you did get backache from sitting so long.
'His missus-in-law gives him a massage when he gets in. With mayonnaise.' Peter and I mused on this insight into other people's private lives in silence. Things were quiet for a moment. Suddenly one of them slapped the driver one on the arm.
'You fell asleep then, didn't you?' 'No. I just closed my eyes for a moment...'

I miss it sometimes. But sometimes I'm kind of glad that these days I can afford train fare.