In 37 years, I've never been sent a Valentine's card.
Just saying, like.
Anyway, on Saturday I will be drowning my sorrows with some Bennys (thanks, LC) as a change from crying into my beer, and hopefully will come up smiling on Sunday.
How will you be spending Valentine's Day then? (Special prizes will be awarded for the most miserable entry.)
Card from Etsy
19 comments:
I've had them.
FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S BOYFRIENDS.
Which was nice. I was hoping to get one this year from the lamented EC, but instead I shall just send him a voucher entitling him to be thrown under a train by me.
I wuv you, Annie.
x
I'm going to be screaming back at my toilet.
I'm planning to ignore it, like I do every year. Actually, every year I simply forget about it but this might be harder now that I live in that country on the other side of the puddle.
I wish they would make it their mission to bake good bread instead of cultivating traditions frustrating to single people and couples alike.
...Or I take Mr. G. to a vagina-related event on campus. That at least seems anatomically informative ;-)
Buy a card, then take loads of Bennys and send it to yourself. By the time you receive, your short-term memory will be fucked, and you won't remember.
(Hint: don't sign it. You might think you're a lesbian egomaniac.)
I'm having a joint birthday party. Best use of my time, I think.
I've had only the lamest of Valentine's gifts too. If at all. If there is someone on the scene it generally passes in a state of embarassed "oh, capitalism is so bad".
I'm doing absolutely fuck all. I always do absolutely fuck all on Valentine's Day.
Well, I've been in the same relationship for fourteen years. Nuff said.
It's only the newly loved up who enjoy Valentine's Day. The newly loved up are people who are in "their own little world" who behave like gurgling infants in each others presence and annoy everyone else, so perhaps it's best for them to stick to their own kind and avoid normal people until they come back to their senses.
Basically, for the rest of us, Valentine's Day is the second most annoying annual celebration behind New Year's Eve.
http://www.meish.org/vd/
Clair, oh noes! Naughty boyfriends!
I wuv you, too xx
GSE, just don't do what Del did and try and fix it yourself...
http://djnite.blogspot.com/2006/02/deep-shit.html
Misiula, 'take Mr. G. to a vagina-related event on campus' - we're intrigued! Tell us more!
Tim, what makes you think I'm not a lesbian egomaniac?
B, aw, not even one little heart-shaped chocolate box or red satin heart shaped card? Happy Birthday!
Betty, you're a woman after my own heart. If I was Queen, I'd ban New Year's Eve. And happy couples.
Sar, we already know and love it:
http://slaminsky.blogspot.com/2007/02/happy-valentines-day-my-preciousssses.html
PS to the 'mystery admirer' who emailed me a Tesco Value Valentine's card - I will treasure it in my heart always xxx
I don't know why GSE's comment has made me laugh so much - but it still is.
I shall also be doing fuck all for Valentine's Day, except for going down the pub and getting gently sloshed.
As to the vagina-related event on campus--I'm sure the gender studies people are preparing something in the Eve Ensler spirit. Unless their budget has been cut too severly because of The Crisis.
Wow! That mystery admirer sounds like an utter...
I'm spending the weekend at my parents. 'Nuff said.
It will be my first V-day as a married woman, but I will be alone all day. Pirate is out of town all weekend for work. bah.
Um. I'll be doing what Betty said. The second bit. Sorry. I feel like a traitor to the cause! But we are at least hiding in my flat away from the miserable couples and impatient waiters in restaurants across the land. Also, it's cheaper and I'm tight.
Oh and unblocking your own toilet couldn't be easier, GSE. Get hold of some concentrated hydrochloric acid. Then, pour it liberally into the bowl until it starts to fizzle alarmingly. Then it will go THUNK as the heat causes the bowl to crack. Then, watch as the toxic solution leaks all over the floor and under the lino. Swear loudly. Mop up. Wait for ages for useless landlord to come back from India and replace the whole thing. Have great story to tell for rest of life. Easy.
Oh, and I've only ever got Valentines from people I've been going out with at the time. And sometimes not even then. Never had an anonymous one. I've sent loads. Girls are rubbish.
Rad, what a cheek eh? That's why I like him.
Boz - YOU WIN! HURRAH!
Mrs CP - aw, no, you win. Never mind, you get all those anniversaries to make up for it. What's the first one?
Del - aw, it's nice you're loved-up really. It's only because I'm greeneyed, take no notice.
Au contraire- Girls are not rubbish. Boys are rubbish (etc etc repeat circular argument until both die from exhaustion.)
actually i kinda think Boz wins. The first anniversary is paper. I figure we'll either get a lot of cash or bog roll.
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